It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be all right in life.
A joke is a very serious thing.
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.
Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
A poem is a serious joke, a truth that has learned jujitsu.
A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade....
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.
At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.
The second mouse gets the cheese!
The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded.
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Even the gods love jokes.
The shortest distance between two jokes makes a perfect speech.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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