Stephen Leacock Quotes - Page 4

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• Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.

  Stephen Leacock

  Music, Suicide, Kind

  Stephen Leacock (2014). “Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town”, p.143, The Floating Press

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• It's a lie, but Heaven will forgive you for it.

  Stephen Leacock

  Lying, Heaven, Forgiving

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• A sportsman is a man who, every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something.

  Stephen Leacock

  Men, Now And Then, Economy

  'My Remarkable Uncle' (1942) p. 73

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• On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing

  Stephen Leacock

  Two, Bills, Sides

  Stephen Leacock (2014). “Literary Lapses”, p.18, The Floating Press

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• The great man... walks across his century and leaves the marks of his feet all over it, ripping out the dates on his goloshes as he passes.

  Stephen Leacock

  Greatness, Men, Feet

  1910 Literary Lapses,'The Life of John Smith'.

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• Too much has been said of the heroes of history-the strong men, the troublesome men; too little of the amiable, the kindly, the tolerant.

  Stephen Leacock

  Strong, Hero, Men

  Stephen Leacock (1916). “Essays and Literary Studies”, New York : Lane ; Toronto : S.B. Gundy

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• It was Einstein who made the real trouble. He announced in 1905 that there was no such thing as absolute rest. After that there never was.

  Stephen Leacock

  Real, Work, Trouble

  Stephen Leacock (2004). “On the Front Line of Life: Stephen Leacock : Memories and Reflections, 1935-1944”, p.235, Dundurn

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• Any man will admit if need be that his sight is not good, or that he cannot swim or shoots badly with a rifle, but to touch upon his sense of humour is to give him mortal affront.

  Stephen Leacock

  Men, Sight, Giving

  Stephen Leacock (2012). “Feast of Stephen”, p.106, McClelland & Stewart

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• Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.

  Stephen Leacock

  Trust, Honesty, Men

  Stephen Leacock, Alan Bowker (1973). “The social criticism of Stephen Leacock”

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• I admit that when the facts are not good enough, I always exaggerate them.

  Stephen Leacock

  Not Good Enough, Facts, Good Enough

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• Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.

  Stephen Leacock

  Laughing, Way, Economy

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• Any two meals at a boarding-house are together less than two square meals.

  Stephen Leacock

  Food, Squares, Two

  Stephen Leacock (2014). “Literary Lapses”, p.18, The Floating Press

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• All our yesterdays, it is true, have only lighted fools the way to dusty death. But we need at least the dates of the yesterdays and the list of the fools.

  Stephen Leacock

  Education, Yesterday, Needs

  Stephen Leacock (1939). “Too Much College; Or, Education Eating Up Life: With Kindred Essays in Education and Hummour”, New York : Dodd, Mead

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• What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn't. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day's work in his last fifty years.

  Stephen Leacock

  Motivational, Teamwork, Years

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• Indeed I have always found that the only thing in regard to Toronto which faraway people know for certain is that McGill University is in it.

  Stephen Leacock

  People, Toronto, Found

  Stephen Leacock (1937). “My Discovery of the West: A Discussion of East and West in Canada”, London : J. Lane the Bodley Head

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• You frequently ask, where are the friends of your childhood, and urge that they shall be brought back to you. As far as I am able to learn, those of your friends who are not in jail are still right there in your native village. You point out that they were wont to share your gambols, If so, you are certainly entitled to have theirs now.

  Stephen Leacock

  Jail, Childhood, Village

  Stephen Leacock (2014). “Literary Lapses”, p.51, The Floating Press

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• Presently I shall be introduced as 'this venerable old gentleman' and the axe will fall when they raise me to the degree of 'grand old man'. That means on our continent any one with snow-white hair who has kept out of jail till eighty.

  Stephen Leacock

  Fall, Mean, Men

  1942 My Remarkable Uncle,'Three Score and Ten'.

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• A barber is by nature and inclination a sport. He can tell you at what exact hour the ball game is to begin, can foretell its issue without losing a stroke of the razor, and can explain the points of inferiority of all the players, as compared with the better men that he has personally seen elsewhere, with the nicety of a professional.

  Stephen Leacock

  Sports, Player, Men

  Stephen Leacock (2014). “Literary Lapses”, p.55, The Floating Press

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• A silk dress in four sections, and shoes with high heels that would have broken the heart of John Calvin.

  Stephen Leacock

  Fashion, Heart, Shoes

  Stephen Leacock (2015). “Arcadian Adventures With the Idle Rich”, p.139, Sheba Blake Publishing

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