Also, my humor is really dry-witted, Canadian humor, so some people get it and some people don't. I'd be great on "The Office." I would like to be on that show. And, I could see me doing romantic comedy films, and stuff like that.
I also love doing comedy. I just moved to L.A. last July. Before that, Vancouver is all about sci-fi, so I didn't get any comedy, whatsoever. But in L.A., people are like, "You don't look quirky enough," and I'm like, "I'm quirky. I'm the definition of quirky. How do you want me to look quirky." They have these little boxes that they put everyone in, so now I have to try to break the mold and get them to see me as being quirky.
I'm a goofball, so I think comedy is one of my stronger points, as an actor. I just never get to do it. But, I'm taking classes at Groundlings, where Will Ferrell and Lisa Kudrow studied, and it's all improv comedy. It feels good to be able to do that and be funny.
I've always said that I want to play a neo-femme action star, and I kind of got to do that in this movie-of-the-week called "Wyvern," where I got to shoot a gun and be a little bad-ass, but I'd like to do that even further. I'm dorky myself. I'll play "Zelda" for 10 hours.
There are certain aspects of me that can be bad-ass sometimes, but being able to push it to the extreme is something I'd love to play. You don't get those roles, as a female, and especially as an indigenous female. There aren't those roles out there, so I want that. I want women to see a strong, sexy female without showing her body too much.
Most of the time, it just sat there in my body, until the weekend. After five or six takes of crying, your body does not want to cry anybody. Your body is like, "I'm over this, can we start laughing, or something?," but you have to keep the emotion. It's a really weird process and it definitely just stays with you.
I was in the car driving back, after having done a scene where I kill somebody, and I just said to the driver, "I can't talk right now. I'm too emotional." The whole car ride back, I was just crying.
When you're actually feeling a character and you're going through the real emotions, and you're not fake acting, that energy stays with you and sometimes you can't get it off for days. It just resonates in your body, unless you have some sort of release, whatever it is.
There's so much going on, with child abuse, not having the right relationships and being in abusive relationships, that play into her, and that energy was constantly in my body for a month. I was the lead character and it was very, very intense.
I didn't want to be around anybody because it was just too much for my brain. But, as an actress, you hope you get those meaty roles that push you into the extremities of that psychology. I like doing independent films because there's more room for you to be creative, and the director allowed me to just go wherever I needed to go. It was emotional. I had to cry a lot.
Stained is about a lonely bookshop keeper, and her past comes back to haunt her. I play a femme fatale, schizophrenic serial killer. They offered me the part and I was like, "I'm just curious why you thought I would be perfect for this role," and the director (Karen Lam) said, "You have this look that, when you're smiling, you're really sweet, but when you're not smiling, you look like you could kill somebody."
It was a very, very intense film for me. I almost lost my mind because there are scenes where I have to kill people, and that energy is absolutely overwhelming. At the same time, as an actor, you never play a character with judgment. It's not my place to judge the fact that she kills people. It's for me to look at her psychology to see what makes her do that.
I always say that you should just listen to it and see what you think it sounds like it is. I don't think it should be labeled. Most musicians feel like that. No one wants to put their music in a category. But, I don't think it's all over the place. I don't go from metal to jazz, or anything crazy.
A lot of people think that, as actors, we have an endless supply of money, and you don't. It comes in waves, and then you're riding a certain amount of money for awhile. When you're at that point where you're like, "Do I feed myself or do I do music?," it's a juggling act.
It's bluesy, rocky jazz. I call it soul music, but it's not James Brown soul music. It comes from my soul. It comes from a deeper place. Duffy has that similar old school soul sound to herself. If I opened for Duffy, that would make sense to me, in my head.
With acting, I'm taking somebody else's work and interpreting it. Whereas with music, it's organic. It's completely myself. Nobody else is really involved with the beginning stages of it. Art is something that I haven't really put out to the public. There's a couple pictures on MySpace, but I haven't done a gallery opening or anything like that. Art is very personal to me. I haven't really shared it with too many people.
It's a juggling act. Every time I get going on the album stuff or being musical, acting kicks in and I book a job. It comes down to a money thing.
I've just always been that kid that was like, "Look at me! Look at me!," and doing performances and skits. I'm also, as most artists are, a very sensitive person, so I need that outlet to release that. Art needs to be in my life, otherwise I can't function as a human being. I heard Madonna say, "Live it, breathe it, eat it." That's how I am with the artistic part of myself.
I've done choir since I was tiny, and I've always tried to get into plays. They all just meshed together. Now with my career, especially with music, people are like, "Which one do you pick?" I don't pick either. They're just different expressions of who I am.
Everybody is in your business, gossiping and being mean spirited. It's different. Sometimes I'm like, "Do I want to do this?," because it's not about the art anymore. It's a struggle. There's part of me that wants to share my gift, which is art, and if I don't, am I taking away something that the Creator gave me to share? At the same time, I don't want to be a part of feeding the dumbing down of society.
It was a realization for me when Oprah was talking about New Moon. I was like, "Oh, my god, she's watched a movie that I've been in!" People were like, "It just kicked in for you?," but it's just work for me. The idea that somebody that I've admired for so long had seen something that I'd done was when I understood the magnitude of it.
Eventually, if your career goes higher and higher, that's just how it is, but it's a little frightening. When I was younger and I thought about being an actor, I thought of the old Hollywood style of glamour, and that was so beautiful and appealing to me. Now, if you want to be an actor, it's not the same.
Because I have the scar, people are like, "Who did you play in the film?," and I tell them, "The girl with the scar," and then they're like, "Oh, yeah!" I think most people expect me to have the scar.
I think the paparazzi are absolutely ridiculous. When we were filming, there was a lot of them. It's different being in L.A., where there are so many celebrities. But, when it was in Vancouver, it was all about the film, so there was paparazzi following us. It's just part of the business.
I don't have paparazzi following me. Because I'm a human character, it's different. The vampires get a lot of attention, and then the werewolves, and then the humans. It hasn't really changed that much for me.
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