Bill Maher Quotes About Animals

Quotes about: Animals

• I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt?

  Bill Maher

  Dog, Jobs, Animal

  "Bill Maher: I'm Swiss", 2005.

• To those people who say, 'My father is alive because of animal experimentation,' I say, 'Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.' Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.

  Bill Maher

  Dog, Sorry, Father

• New Rule: If you can force a woman to look at a sonogram—to see what will happen if she has an abortion—you also have to let her see a crying baby, a bratty five-year-old, and a surly teenager to see what will happen if she doesn’t. And you have to tell her it costs $204,000 to raise it until it turns eighteen, in 2028, where it will be a slave to the Chinese, in a radioactive world with no animals, fish, or plants.

  Bill Maher

  Baby, Teenager, Animal

  Bill Maher (2011). “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass”, p.221, Penguin

• When did the business community in America become so sensitive? ... that we have to treat like some type of rare exotic animal - don't startle them or they'll fly away!...we need to soothe them so they can nest here and lay their magic eggs full of jobs! - WHICH NEVER HATCH BY THE WAY!!!

  Bill Maher

  Jobs, Animal, Eggs

• Also, in the category of 'obvious but still shocking,' an animal called a 'killer whale' killed someone who was trying to play with it. Now, no one knows exactly what enraged the whale, but earlier in the week, it had been thrown off a flight by Southwest Airlines.

  Bill Maher

  Animal, Whales, Play

• There were two Republican responses to the State of the Union. So if you watched the whole night, it was kind of evolution in reverse. You have Obama, then Paul Ryan, and then Michele Bachmann. Then Animal Planet had a squirrel monkey give his take.

  Bill Maher

  Animal, Night, Squirrels

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