You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.
You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.
You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.
You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.
You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.
First of all, "redneck" is a state of mind, not a person. So the "racist redneck" thing is a state of mind, not a geographical location. So I don't mean to imply that it's just Southerners. And if you don't recognize the racist underpinnings and the emotional reactive response you're getting from these teabaggers because we have a black president, then you are either being dishonest, or you've never seen the teabaggers.
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