Redneck Quotes - Page 11

• You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Texas, Might, Rangers

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• You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Nice, Wish, Might

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• You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Might, Grades, Duty

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• You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Teeth, Might, Ifs

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• You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Shoes, Might, Bathroom

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• You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Kids, Yosemite, Tonight

  Jeff Foxworthy (2006). “The Redneck Doesn't Fall Far from the Tree”, p.47, Harper Collins

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• People actually were worried that I was going to get stereotyped as a monster after Freddy, but my God, I got stereotyped as white trash for years, the best friend for years, the redneck for years, the nerd for years and let me tell you...it's better to be a monster than to be a nerd.

  Robert Englund

  Years, White, People

  Arrow interview, www.joblo.com. February 7, 2003.

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• Country music is about new love and it's about old love. It's about gettin' drunk and gettin' sober. It's about leavin' and it's about comin' home. It's real music sung by real people for real people, the people that make up the backbone of this country. You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Country, Real, War

  CMT Awards, 2007.

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• You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Baseball, Special, Might

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• You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Thinking, Silence, Barns

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• Let me get a big 'hell yeah' from the redneck girls like me, hell yeah.

  Gretchen Wilson

  Girl, Hell, Yeah

  Song: Red Neck Woman, 2004

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• You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Water, Honor, Towers

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• You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Giving, Events, Might

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• You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Gourmet, Onions, Might

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• There were the phone calls and Elvis had asked me to visit him in Los Angeles. This was in 1962.

  Priscilla Presley

  Phones, Phone Calls, Los Angeles

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• There's this false notion that this is a regional phenomenon, when in fact every state in the union has hardcore rednecks. No exceptions.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Unions, Facts, Hardcore

  "'True-life Source Material Is Fabulously Bizarre' - Carl Hiaasen Answers Our Questions about 'Razor Girl'". Interview with Adrian Liang, www.omnivoracious.com. September 8, 2016.

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• Elvis' disappearing body is like a flashing event horizon at the edge of the black hole that is America today.

  Arthur Kroker

  America, Black, Events

  Arthur Kroker, Marilouise Kroker, David Cook (1989). “Panic Encyclopedia: The Definitive Guide to the Postmodern Scene”

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• I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup comic, it is my job to make the majority of people laugh, and I believe that comedy is the last true form of free speech.

  Jeff Dunham

  Christian, Jobs, Believe

  "Comedian Defends 'Achmed the Dead Terrorist' Puppet Routine Against South African Ban" by Joshua Rhett Miller, www.foxnews.com. October 2, 2008.

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• Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.

  Bill Hicks

  Cancer, Heart, Smoking

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• How funny is it that so many professors labeled Tea Partiers as terrorists, while kissing the asses of real, bona fide terrorists? It's not funny, really. But it's the result of a simple equation: One is cool, and the other isn't. Own a gun and keep it by your bed in your remote farmhouse? You're a redneck. Purchase guns that end up killing a judge? Priceless. As long as you cling to cool, progressive beliefs that deem America evil, whatever you do is cool. And if you do it under a big fuzzy 'fro? Even cooler. Hell, if you 'fro is big enough, you could nuke an orphanage and still get tenure.

  Greg Gutfeld

  Real, Kissing, Gun

  Greg Gutfeld (2014). “Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You”, p.72, Crown Forum

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• Well, a good ole boy is somebody that rides around in a pick-up truck - which I do - and drinks beer and puts 'em in a litter bag. A redneck's one that rides around in a truck and drinks beer and throws 'em out the window.

  Billy Carter

  Beer, Boys, Bags

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• I don’t know any redneck that’s not into fun. That’s their middle name: Red-Fun-Neck.

  Si Robertson

  Fun, Names, Necks

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• At the Grammys, you walk down the halls and everyone's got five security guards. You can't talk to anybody. You always feel out of place, like, 'Hey, the rednecks are in town!

  Dave Haywood

  Security Guards, Hey, Towns

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• You can talk any redneck into a challenge. That’s why so many rednecks die in strange ways.

  Jase Robertson

  Funny, Death, Entrepreneur

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• Cause I'm a redneck woman.

  Gretchen Wilson

  Causes

  Song: Red Neck Woman

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