Natasha Leggero Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is most afraid of being raped?

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Humor

• Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Party, Humor

  Twitter post from May 11, 2011

• Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There are at least three of us in line ahead of you.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Humor, Relax

• Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Baby, Humor

• If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Jesus, Humor

• The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ's playlist.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Humor, Cry

• I wish his music came out of the closet and admit that it sucks.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Humor, Wish

• Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Humor, Divorce

• The more developed your abs, the less time you've spent reading.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Reading, Humor

  Twitter post from Jul 03, 2012

• College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Humor, College

  Twitter post from Jan 26, 2012

• I think how tan a person is, is directly proportionate to how dumb they are.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

• The waiters in France could all be senators in the US.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Humor, France

  Twitter post from Jan 19, 2012

• Make a sex tape, upload it, get on a reality show, release a perfume, retire. That's the new American dream.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Dream, Sex

• TLC should stand for Toddlers, Lunatics, and Cake.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Humor, Cake

  Twitter post from Aug 5, 2011

• Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Sex, Humor

• Ke$ha IS the walk of shame.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Humor, Shame

• I don't see the point of watching men exercise.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Humor, Exercise

• Do they give Pulitzers for tweets yet?

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Humor, Giving

• Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Humor, Forever

• Your main contribution is spray painting your nickname on other people's things. And my cousin, who's a 'gangster', he's like, 'No, Tash, you don't understand; you throw a fat piece up there, that piece is yours.' I'm like, 'No one thinks you own Costco.'

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Cousin, Humor

• Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to acommodate all these singing shows.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Humor, America

• I just went home to Illinois, and I asked my family, 'Are you guys planning on talking in those accents the whole time I'm home?' And my mother said, 'You used to talk like that, too, Tasha.' And I said, 'Yes, but you see, I've reinvented myself. Do you have any idea who I think I am?'

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Mother, Home

• Have you heard his new song? 'Cause he thinks he's a black man now.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Song, Humor

• How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Real, Humor

• Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like 'Hey Natasha. Don't you think you're a little attractive to be a comedian?' and I'm like 'Don't you think you're a little ugly to be talking to me?'

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

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• email
• linkedin