Forgiveness requires a sense that bad behaviour is a sign of suffering rather than malice.
Anyone who isn't embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn't learning enough.
Maturity: the confidence to have no opinions on many things.
The only people we can think of as normal are those we don't yet know very well.
We don't really learn anything properly until there is a problem, until we are in pain, until something fails to go as we had hoped ... We suffer, therefore we think.
Everyone wants a better life: very few of us want to be better people.
The only way to be happy is to realise how much depends on how you look at things
There is no such thing as work-life balance. Everything worth fighting for unbalances your life.
Do you love me enough that I may be weak with you? Everyone loves strength, but do you love me for my weakness? That is the real test.
The challenge for a human now is to be more interesting to another than his or her smartphone.
It looks like it’s wasting time, but literature is actually the ultimate time-saver - because it gives us access to a range of emotions and events that it would take you years, decades, millennia to try to experience directly. Literature is the greatest reality simulator - a machine that puts you through infinitely more situations than you can ever directly witness.
You normally have to be bashed about a bit by life to see the point of daffodils, sunsets and uneventful nice days.
Intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone - and finding that that's ok with them.
True love is a lack of desire to check one's smartphone in another's presence.
Every time we feel satisfied with what we have, we can be counted as rich, however little we may actually possess.
One of the better guarantors of ending up in a good relationship: an advanced capacity to be alone.
Don't despair: despair suggests you are in total control and know what is coming. You don't - surrender to events with hope.
For paranoia about 'what other people think' : remember that only some hate, a very few love - and almost all just don't care.
To be shown love is to feel ourselves the object of concern: our presence is noted, our name is registered, our views are listened to, our failings are treated with indulgence and our needs are ministered to. And under such care, we flourish.
We often lose our tempers not with those who are actually to blame; just with those who love us enough to forgive us our foul moods.
What I want to argue for is not that we should give up on our ideas of success, but that we should make sure that they are our own. We should focus in on our ideas and make sure that we own them, that we're truly the authors of our own ambitions. Because it's bad enough not getting what you want, but it's even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and find out at the end of the journey that it isn't, in fact, what you wanted all along.
As adults, we try to develop the character traits that would have rescued our parents.
Most anger stems from feelings of weakness, sadness and fear: hard to remember when one is at the receiving end of its defiant roar.
Perhaps it is true that we do not really exist until there is someone there to see us existing, we cannot properly speak until there is someone who can understand what we are saying in essence, we are not wholly alive until we are loved.
At the heart of every frustration lies a basic structure: the collision of a wish with an unyielding reality.
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