Noel Fielding Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Summer, Wall

  "The mighty clowns" by Dorian Lynskey, www.theguardian.com. September 9, 2006.

• We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Humor, Needs

• Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Teacher, Humor

• Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Pain, Couple

  "This much I know". Interview with Eva Wiseman, www.theguardian.com. May 24, 2008.

• I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Humor, Flying

• You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Humor, Gay

• There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV. I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Hate, Humor

  "This much I know". Interview with Eva Wiseman, www.theguardian.com. May 24, 2008.

• Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Humor, Boys

• The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, School, Humor

  "Fictional character: Vince Noir". "The Mighty Boosh", www.imdb.com. 2003 - 2007.

• When I was 14, I saw someone getting their face and wrists slashed with a knife in a pub in Catford. Nobody lifted a finger. That's when I realised that violence wasn't funny. At all.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Humor, Knives

  "This much I know". Interview with Eva Wiseman, www.theguardian.com. May 24, 2008.

• Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Humor, Ponchos

• Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Powerful, Humor

  "Fictional character: Vince Noir". "The Mighty Boosh", www.imdb.com. 2003 - 2007.

• I'm a mischievous drunk.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Humor, Drunk

  "This much I know". Interview with Eva Wiseman, www.theguardian.com. May 24, 2008.

• I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Morning, Humor

• I couldn't have invented crisps. ... I don't really want to be known as the man who invented crisps. ... I invented apples. ... I invented pandas, and caps. I invented soil.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Humor, Men

• When you're famous you can't go to Topshop. Even when I disguise myself in a moustache, baseball cap, sunglasses - the full Madonna kit - it doesn't work: my stupid face is too big.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Baseball, Stupid

  "This much I know". Interview with Eva Wiseman, www.theguardian.com. May 24, 2008.

• They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Humor, Men

• No means yes in grasshopper language.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Mean, Humor

• When I'm 70 I might be a man in a park just wandering around, speaking in tongues with kids throwing bread at me.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Kids, Humor

• When I was a little kid I wanted to be Face. I thought, cos I had blond hair and he did too, that when I grew up I'd look like him.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Kids, Humor

• Last time you bring me pie, I cut into it, with my tiny pie cutter, and millions of birds flew out hitting me in the eyes and the temples... it was a trick pie!

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Humor, Eye

• That's the authentic punk dance. It's like a child dizzy on lemonade.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Children, Humor

  "Never Mind the Buzzcocks". Comedy, Game-Show, Music, 1996–2015.

• I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

  "This much I know". Interview with Eva Wiseman, www.theguardian.com. May 24, 2008.

• When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Kids, Humor

• Never try and go on a solo mission on your own.

  Noel Fielding

  Funny, Humor, Trying

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