Jeremy Clarkson Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating tw*t

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Reading, Mirrors, Car

  13 Copy quote

• Governments would rather spend their money on another bomber than education, and why do we fear black men when every bit of suffering in our lives has a Caucasian face attached to it?

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Education, Fear, Men

  7 Copy quote

• There are shantytowns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults!

  Jeremy Clarkson

  South, Built, South Africa

  "Top Gear", Episode #4.6. Comedy, Talk-Show, June 13, 2004.

  5 Copy quote

• I love Alfa Romeos and that [Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio] was tremendous.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Alfa Romeo

  Source: www.cbc.ca

  22 Copy quote

• You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Girl, Zoos, Animal

  17 Copy quote

• Nothing can prepare you for the yawning chasm of time that passes in Canada before the healthcare system actually does any healthcare.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Yawning, Doe, Canada

  Jeremy Clarkson (2010). “How Hard Can It Be?: The World According to Clarkson”, p.215, Penguin UK

  3 Copy quote

• Unlike furious thin-lipped feminists, I tend not to draw distinctions between men and women, apart from in bed where you really do need to spot the difference.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Men, Differences, Feminist

  "Jeremy Clarkson: TV obsessed with hiring 'black Muslim lesbians" by Steve Busfield, www.theguardian.com. October 9, 2009.

  8 Copy quote

• If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Bmw, House, Leaving

  13 Copy quote

• Boredom forces you to ring people you haven’t seen for eighteen years and halfway through the conversation you remember why you left it so long. Boredom means you start to read not only mail-order catalogues but also the advertising inserts that fall on the floor. Boredom gives you half a mind to get a gun and go berserk in the local shopping centre, and you know where this is going. Eventually, boredom means you will take up golf.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Fall, Mean, Golf

  Jeremy Clarkson (2004). “The world according to Clarkson”

  8 Copy quote

• Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Car, Ferrari, Tonight

  17 Copy quote

• I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Thinking, Swedish

  12 Copy quote

• If you're thinking of coming to America, this is what it's like: you've got your Comfort Inn, you've got your Best Western, and you've got your Red Lobster where you eat. Everybody's very fat, everybody's very stupid and everybody's very rude - it's not a holiday programme, it's the truth.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Stupid, Holiday, Thinking

  8 Copy quote

• Americans are good at herding Bison. The end.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Bison, Ends

  16 Copy quote

• The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Democracy, World, Lectures

  "Top Gear: Series 5". TV Series, October 24, 2004.

  10 Copy quote

• You know what, I distinctly remember my boat blew up and I was killed!

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Remember, Boat, Knows

  3 Copy quote

• [on the BMW X3] If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here's your car.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Morning, Mean, Thinking

  "Top Gear (Episode #4.10)". TV Series, August 1, 2004.

  19 Copy quote

• I'm a horse of a man!

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Horse, Men

  "Top Gear". www.imdb.com. 2002.

  3 Copy quote

• God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  World, May, Six

  8 Copy quote

• Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Insomnia, Suffering, Looks

  10 Copy quote

• Italy's youngsters complain, apparently, about having to live at home until they are 72 but that's because they spend all their money on suits and coffee and Alfa Romeos rather than mortgages.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Coffee, Home, Complaining

  Jeremy Clarkson (2004). “The world according to Clarkson”

  6 Copy quote

• Asking the front wheels of a car to do their normal job of steering while handling more than 170 is like asking a man to wire a plug while juggling. Penguins. While making love. To a beautiful woman while on fire, on stage. In front of the Queen. It's all going to go wrong.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Beautiful, Jobs, Queens

  "Top Gear", July 12, 2009.

  11 Copy quote

• Biathletes need to eat 6.000 calories a day: six thousand! That's the equivalent of 2 pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 TWIX bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Eggs, Needs, Bars

  9 Copy quote

• I mean its a weekly occurrence that somebody will complain that Top Gear was on last night - and you just sit back and wait for the complaints. But if you start to pay attention to everyones concerns, you end up with something bland and boring. So you sort of have to ignore everybody in order to do the show how we want to do it.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Mean, Night, Order

  12 Copy quote

• ...it seemed appropriate that I should develop some kind of illness. This is a good idea when you are at a loose end because everything, up to and including herpes, is better than being bored.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Ideas, Bored, Kind

  Jeremy Clarkson (2004). “The world according to Clarkson”

  8 Copy quote

• Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill and then run over him again for good measure. They are designed to melt ice caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands and turn the entire third world into a huge uninhabitable desert, all that before they nicked all the oil in the world.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Running, Oil, Islands

  "Top Gear", October 31, 2004.

  14 Copy quote

Page 2 of 5

First

← Prev

1

2

3

4

5

Next →

• facebook
• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin