That's the thing about marriage. It's a shell game we play with ourselves. We're the suckers and we have to lose, but we play anyway because we lie to ourselves that we can win.
Lies are like children. If you don't nurture them, they'll never be useful later.
The only time anyone's admitted they were a Christian before was when they were busy telling me why they're better than me.
I guess that's how death works. It doesn't matter if we're ready or not. It just happens.
Nothing like a lot of exercise to make you realize you'd rather be lazy and dead sooner.
Ed Wood served a great purpose - mainly making writers feel better about their work.
Death likes it when you play hard to get.
Ah, sweet alcohol. Like a true friend, you replace the anger with better, louder anger.
A birthday wish granted 23 years late is still a birthday wish granted.
You can't show love to someone at the expense of someone else who loves you.
Desperate is not a sexual preference.
Things aren't magically better if that's what you're hoping for. It's not that simple.
In the end, we decide if we're remembered for what happened to us or for what we did with it.
People age even when you're not looking.
You make me understand how wonderful it is for little lizards when they find that one special rock that's perfect for sunning themselves on. You make me lizard-happy.
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