Donald Trump has taken the Peter Principle to unprecedented heights. Or is it depths?
When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better.
It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.
Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick; Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.
Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.
These are clearly the end times, and now we understand why the prophets warned us about the Trump of Doom.
Every political card played by Jeb Bush has been Trumped; every political note played by The Donald has been Trumpeted.
President Obama contends that charges he is "not really an American" have been trumped up by you-know-who.
Donald Trump just announced that if Republicans don't treat him fairly, he will resurrect the Whig party and run as its hair apparent.
Toupée or not toupée for professional government: that is the hair-raising question created by Donald Trump's candidacy.
Donald Trump just pledged to be loyal to the Green Party, the Communist Party and Party Central, as long as they agree to be nice to that thing on his head. If not, all bets are off.
I lived as best I could, and then I died. Be careful where you step: the grave is wide.
I'll not! The gents are impressed with the way that I'm dressed. I wouldn't change even one spot.
Abbesses' recesses are not for excesses!
Life's saving graces are love, pleasure, laughter ... wisdom, it seems, is for the Hereafter.
Hell hath no fury like a frustrated fundamentalist whose God condemned him to "hell" for having "impure thoughts."
There's no better tonic for other people's bad ideas, than to think for oneself.
Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo.
Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with the incompetent celebrity being berated, humiliated, then unceremoniously fired.
When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his massive ego, and will have all the latest and greatest blowdryer technology.
What do we get when the Donald exposes his enormous ass? A trump roast.
What do you call a comedian who runs for president? A trump card.
Trump's last name is an omen that he'll win the Republican nomination, since "trump" means "triumph." One might suggest that this will constitute the triumph of insanity over reason, except that none of the other Republican candidates make any sense either. Trump just makes them seem less crazy by comparison.
Trump appeals to the disaffected by loudly trumpet-ing what they want to hear: other people are always the problem, and the solution is to either put them in their proper place or get rid of them.
Love is either wholly folly, or fully holy.
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