Aziz Ansari Quotes

Quotes about:

• When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't
  even know who Ginuwine is.

  Aziz Ansari

  Girl, Dating Someone, Lists

  59 Copy quote
• 

  Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.

  Aziz Ansari

  Parks And Recreation, Balls, Littles

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com.

  53 Copy quote

• Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.

  Aziz Ansari

  Ethnicity, People, Great Work

  44 Copy quote
• 

  I have no interest in art. Let me clarify — I have no interest in non-nude images.

  Aziz Ansari

  Art, Interest, Let Me

  "Parks and Recreation: The Camel". TV Series, www.imdb.com. 2009.

  57 Copy quote

• I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

  Aziz Ansari

  Taken, People, Parks And Recreation

  "Fictional character: Tom Haverford". Parks and Recreation, 2009–2015.

  24 Copy quote
• 

  I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.

  Aziz Ansari

  Life Is, Moments, Optimist

  "Aziz Ansari gets candid about love: “elusive and sadly ephemeral”". Interview with TashaR, www.avclub.com. February 13, 2013.

  53 Copy quote

• I just didn’t want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.

  Aziz Ansari

  Asian, Want, Fields

  57 Copy quote

• Zerts' are what I call desserts. 'Trée-trées' are entrées. I call sandwiches 'sammies,' 'sandoozles,' or 'Adam Sandlers.' Air conditioners are 'cool blasterz' with a 'z' - I don't know where that came from. I call cakes 'big ol' cookies.' I call noodles 'long-ass rice.' Fried chicken is 'fry-fry chicky-chick.' Chicken parm is 'chicky-chicky-parm-parm.' Chicken cacciatore? 'Chicky-cacc.' I call eggs 'pre-birds,' or 'future birds.' Root beer is 'super water.' Tortillas are 'bean blankets.' And I call forks 'food rakes.'

  Aziz Ansari

  Beer, Air, Cake

  55 Copy quote

• I spend so much time on the Internet...I feel like I'm a million pages into the worst book ever, and I'm never going to stop reading.

  Aziz Ansari

  Time, Reading, Book

  36 Copy quote
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  I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.

  Aziz Ansari

  Being Single, Home, Going Out

  "Aziz Ansari gets candid about love: “elusive and sadly ephemeral”". Interview with TashaR, www.avclub.com. February 13, 2013.

  47 Copy quote

• Others fear what the morrow may bring. I am afraid of what happened yesterday.

  Aziz Ansari

  Past, Yesterday, May

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• Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians?

  Aziz Ansari

  Black, Would Be, World

  "Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians?" by Kris Maske, uproxx.com. October 30, 2013.

  44 Copy quote

• Instead of yelling your opinion, or telling people to shut up, or engaging in this clickbait-internet culture, have a dialogue with someone and ask people questions and listen to what they have to say.

  Aziz Ansari

  Yelling, People, Culture

  "Aziz Ansari gets candid, personal about his candid, personal Netflix show". Interview with Erik Adams, www.avclub.com. November 02, 2015.

  24 Copy quote

• This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.

  Aziz Ansari

  Keys, Giving, Matter

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• The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.

  Aziz Ansari

  Gay, Parent, Hardest

  "Fictional character: Rollerblader". "Human Giant/ Ta Da", (Episode 8), 2007.

  58 Copy quote

• You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.

  Aziz Ansari

  People, Laughing, Wow

  "What Aziz Ansari Doesn't Know About Tacos". Interview with Tacey Grenrock Woods, www.esquire.com. December 20, 2010.

  8 Copy quote

• I went to a place recently I think is one of the most f**ked up places I've ever been to. I'm convinced this place is the epitome of American excess, of American greed. I'm talking about a place called Cold Stone Creamery. Whoa. If you have not been there, the basic gist of Cold Stone is that they take ice cream and then they just go ape sh*t with it.

  Aziz Ansari

  Thinking, Ice Cream, Talking

  37 Copy quote

• Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.

  Aziz Ansari

  Silence, Style, Asian

  Twitter post from Aug 27, 2012

  18 Copy quote

• One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it's Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack.

  Aziz Ansari

  New York, Missing, Burgers

  "Aziz Ansari Interview". Interview with Jessica Hundley, www.askmen.com.

  32 Copy quote

• My dad grew up basically in a hut in Taiwan without enough food to eat. And within one generation his son in America gets to do a comedy show about whatever he wants.

  Aziz Ansari

  Dad, Son, America

  "‘Master of None’ Creators Aziz Ansari and Alan Yang on Turning Dinner Conversation into Michelin Star TV". Interview with Ben Travers, www.indiewire.com. November 6, 2015.

  19 Copy quote

• You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z'.

  Aziz Ansari

  Feminist, Should, Concerts

  "Aziz Ansari Is Better Than Most Celebrities at Talking About Feminism" by Amanda Marcotte, www.slate.com. October 7, 2014.

  26 Copy quote

• If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.

  Aziz Ansari

  Jobs, Interesting, Would Be

  17 Copy quote

• Modern life. Where are we running? Sometimes what we want is not always where we are... Are we alone? Is the real winter inside our hearts? We are all struggling for definition in a world that resists our increase.

  Aziz Ansari

  Running, Real, Struggle

  "Fictional character: Tom Haverford". "Parks and Recreation/ Summer Catalog" (Season 2, Episode 20), www.imdb.com. 2010.

  15 Copy quote

• If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.

  Aziz Ansari

  Believe, Mean, Men

  "Aziz Ansari Explains Why We Should All Be Feminists" by Emily Zemler, www.elle.com. October 8, 2014.

  19 Copy quote

• Why would anyone get married and have babies? That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. Or the scariest thing I've ever heard in my life.

  Aziz Ansari

  Baby, Ideas, Married

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