Simon Munnery Quotes

• Many are willing to suffer for their art. Few are willing to learn to draw.

  Simon Munnery

  Art, Suffering, Draws

  "Fictional character: The League Against Tedium". TV Series "Attention Scum", 2001.

  59 Copy quote

• If you only ever read one book in your life ... I highly recommend you keep
  your mouth shut.

  Simon Munnery

  Book, Mouths, Ifs

  "How To Live". Book by Simon Munnery, 2005.

  12 Copy quote

• He who disagrees with me in private, call him a fool. He who disagrees with me in public, call him an ambulance.

  Simon Munnery

  Fool, Ambulance, Disagree

  "Stand up and be counted" by Sam Taylor, www.theguardian.com. December 30, 2000.

  15 Copy quote

• When you look in the mirror and despair and none of your clothes seem appropriate, relax, put the kettle on. It might suit you.

  Simon Munnery

  Mirrors, Suits You, Clothes

  10 Copy quote

• Although no man is an island, you can make quite an effective raft out of six.

  Simon Munnery

  Men, Islands, Six

  "Attention Scum!", Episode 1, 2001.

  13 Copy quote

• I don't worry about losing my looks. It's finding them on someone else that worries me.

  Simon Munnery

  Worry, Looks, Losing

  8 Copy quote

• All men are brothers. Hence war.

  Simon Munnery

  Brother, War, Men

  8 Copy quote

• Like bees around honey. Why are bees so attracted to honey, since they make it? It can only be vanity.

  Simon Munnery

  Vanity, Honey, Bees

  10 Copy quote

• Like many supermodels, I won't get out of bed for less than £3000. Unlike many supermodels, I don't get out of bed very often.

  Simon Munnery

  Bed, Supermodel

  8 Copy quote

• What do you get the man who has everything? Might I suggest a gravestone inscribed with the words: so what?

  Simon Munnery

  Men, Might, Gravestone

  9 Copy quote

• The truly beautiful are often abused for apparent ugliness just as those with great vision often bump into things.

  Simon Munnery

  Beautiful, Vision, Bumps

  10 Copy quote

• I remember when I posed as a customs officer so that I could meet Oscar Wilde. I said to him "Have you anything to declare?" He said "I have nothing to declare but my genius." I said "I'll put that down as nothing then shall I?" For I am the wittiest man on Earth.

  Simon Munnery

  Men, Genius, Earth

  6 Copy quote

• Life is like a musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Very popular and not as bad as some would have you believe. That is, unspeakably awful but mercifully brief.

  Simon Munnery

  Believe, Musical, Life Is Like

  7 Copy quote

• Fish deserve to be caught for they are lazy. Two million years of evolution and they still haven't got out of the water.

  Simon Munnery

  Years, Two, Water

  9 Copy quote

• It is the vanity of women to spend hours in front of the mirror. It is the vanity of men not to bother.

  Simon Munnery

  Men, Vanity, Mirrors

  "How To Live". Book by Simon Munnery, 2005.

  6 Copy quote

• I've got nothing against any individual American, except that there aren't any. They're always Irish-American, African-American... There's never an American-American you can blame.

  Simon Munnery

  African American, Blame, Individual

  "Attention Scum". TV Series, 2001.

  7 Copy quote

• I wear glasses myself. As an affectation, as a badge of high intellect and to see with.

  Simon Munnery

  Glasses, Badges, Intellect

  4 Copy quote

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