Yakov Smirnoff Quotes

Quotes about:

• In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Funny, Party, Russia

  33 Copy quote

• In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Country, Fun, Russia

  49 Copy quote

• In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Funny, Russia, Two

  "Laugh Off: The Comedy Showdown Between Real Life And The Pros". Book by Bob Fenster, 2005.

  91 Copy quote

• In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Brother, Russia, Law

  41 Copy quote

• Russian men have a saying: "Women are like buses..." That's it.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Men, Bus

  Yakov Smirnoff (1987). “America on six rubles a day”, Vintage

  14 Copy quote

• Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Funny, Humorous, Russia

  Yakov Smirnoff (1987). “America on six rubles a day”, Vintage

  19 Copy quote

• In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Russia, America, President

  18 Copy quote

• Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Funny, Gay, Men

  23 Copy quote

• I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Girl, Dream, Comedy

  23 Copy quote

• The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Oklahoma, Texas, Oil

  16 Copy quote

• Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Funny, Happiness, Laughter

  FaceBook post by Yakov Smirnoff from Apr 03, 2014

  55 Copy quote

• I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Happiness, Laughter, Believe

  53 Copy quote

• In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Jobs, Russia, America

  12 Copy quote

• In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Funny, Humorous, Russia

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  8 Copy quote

• I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Men, House, Want

  22 Copy quote

• In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Russia, America, Car

  3 Copy quote

• The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Funny, Paper, Lasts

  FaceBook post by Yakov Smirnoff from Apr 07, 2014

  18 Copy quote

• I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Happiness, Laughter, Believe

  FaceBook post by Yakov Smirnoff from Oct 29, 2014

  17 Copy quote

• After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  People, Unions, Soviet Union

  4 Copy quote

• If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Love, Happiness, Laughter

  FaceBook post by Yakov Smirnoff from Mar 27, 2014

  17 Copy quote

• Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Men, World, Men And Women

  23 Copy quote

• I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Happiness, Laughter, Believe

  20 Copy quote

• Never having alone time is real tough on people.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Real, People, Tough

  14 Copy quote

• It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Heart, Size, Spirit

  27 Copy quote

• We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Education, Children, Thinking

  10 Copy quote

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