When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.
Faith is intellectual laziness.
When I don’t understand, I have an unbearable itch to know why.
Aside from a cold appreciation of my own genius I felt that I was a modest man.
It is impossible for a man to love his wife whole heartedly without loving all women somewhat. I suppose that the converse must be true of women.
An armed society is a polite society.
Working because you want to is the best sort of play.
The moral difference between a soldier and a civilian is that the soldier accepts personal responsibility for the safety of the body politic of which he is a member. The civilian does not.
Marriage is a psychological condition, not a civil contract and a license. Once a marriage is dead, it is dead, and it begins to stink faster than a dead fish.
Each man is his own prisoner, in solitary confinement for life.
A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.
Every general prohibition creates its bootleggers.
No storyteller has been able to dream up anything as fantastically unlikely as what really does happen in this mad Universe.
The correct way to punctuate a sentence that states: "Of course it is none of my business, but -- " is to place a period after the word "but." Don't use excessive force in supplying such a moron with a period. Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about.
Death is an old friend; I know him well. I lived with him, ate with him, slept with him; to meet him again does not frighten me death is as necessary as birth, as happy in its own way.
Learning isn't a means to an end; it is an end in itself.
Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.
A monarch's neck should always have a noose around it. It keeps him upright.
Don't tell me violence doesn't solve anything. Look at Carthage.
The early worm deserves the bird.
I believe that almost all politicians are honest. For every bribed alderman there are hundreds of politicians, low paid or not paid at all, doing their level best without thanks or glory to make our system work. If this were not true, we would never have gotten past the thirteen colonies.
When the need arises - and it does - you must be able to shoot your own dog. Don't farm it out — that doesn't make it nicer, it makes it worse.
Coffee comes in five descending stages: Coffee, Java, Jamoke, Joe, and Carbon Remover.
Sense is never common.
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with those three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots.
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