Stephen Leacock Quotes - Page 4

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• The sorrows and disasters of Europe always brought fortune to America.

  Stephen Leacock

  Europe, America, Sorrow

  Stephen Leacock (1945). “Last Leaves”, New York : Dodd, Mead

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• Professors of theory merely hold post-mortems.

  Stephen Leacock

  Professors, Theory, Posts

  Stephen Leacock, Gerald Lynch (2002). “Leacock on Life”, p.51, University of Toronto Press

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• All Dickens's humour couldn't save Dickens, save him from his overcrowded life, its sordid and neurotic central tragedy and its premature collapse. But Dickens's humour, and all such humour, has saved or at least greatly served the world.

  Stephen Leacock

  Tragedy, World, Humour

  Stephen Leacock (2010). “My Remarkable Uncle”, p.114, New Canadian Library

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• The classical scholars have kept alive the tradition of the superiority of the ancient languages -- a kaleidoscopic mass of suffixes and prefixes, supposed to represent an infinite shading of meaning. It is a character they share with the Ojibway and the Zulu.

  Stephen Leacock

  Character, Alive, Language

  Stephen Leacock, Gerald Lynch (2002). “Leacock on Life”, p.49, University of Toronto Press

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• On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing

  Stephen Leacock

  Two, Bills, Sides

  Stephen Leacock (2014). “Literary Lapses”, p.18, The Floating Press

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• It was Einstein who made the real trouble. He announced in 1905 that there was no such thing as absolute rest. After that there never was.

  Stephen Leacock

  Real, Work, Trouble

  Stephen Leacock (2004). “On the Front Line of Life: Stephen Leacock : Memories and Reflections, 1935-1944”, p.235, Dundurn

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• We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.

  Stephen Leacock

  Thinking, Laughing, Forgiving

  Stephen Leacock (2014). “My Discovery of England”, p.107, The Floating Press

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• Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.

  Stephen Leacock

  Music, Suicide, Kind

  Stephen Leacock (2014). “Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town”, p.143, The Floating Press

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• Any man will admit if need be that his sight is not good, or that he cannot swim or shoots badly with a rifle, but to touch upon his sense of humour is to give him mortal affront.

  Stephen Leacock

  Men, Sight, Giving

  Stephen Leacock (2012). “Feast of Stephen”, p.106, McClelland & Stewart

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• It's a lie, but Heaven will forgive you for it.

  Stephen Leacock

  Lying, Heaven, Forgiving

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• Too much has been said of the heroes of history-the strong men, the troublesome men; too little of the amiable, the kindly, the tolerant.

  Stephen Leacock

  Strong, Hero, Men

  Stephen Leacock (1916). “Essays and Literary Studies”, New York : Lane ; Toronto : S.B. Gundy

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• Indeed I have always found that the only thing in regard to Toronto which faraway people know for certain is that McGill University is in it.

  Stephen Leacock

  People, Toronto, Found

  Stephen Leacock (1937). “My Discovery of the West: A Discussion of East and West in Canada”, London : J. Lane the Bodley Head

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• A lone maple leaf resting on sand Have you ever been out for a late autumn walk in the closing part of the afternoon, and suddenly looked up to realize that the leaves have practically all gone? And the sun has set and the day gone before you knew it, and with that a cold wind blows across the landscape? That's retirement.

  Stephen Leacock

  Retirement, Autumn, Blow

  17 Copy quote

• A barber is by nature and inclination a sport. He can tell you at what exact hour the ball game is to begin, can foretell its issue without losing a stroke of the razor, and can explain the points of inferiority of all the players, as compared with the better men that he has personally seen elsewhere, with the nicety of a professional.

  Stephen Leacock

  Sports, Player, Men

  Stephen Leacock (2014). “Literary Lapses”, p.55, The Floating Press

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• Any two meals at a boarding-house are together less than two square meals.

  Stephen Leacock

  Food, Squares, Two

  Stephen Leacock (2014). “Literary Lapses”, p.18, The Floating Press

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• All our yesterdays, it is true, have only lighted fools the way to dusty death. But we need at least the dates of the yesterdays and the list of the fools.

  Stephen Leacock

  Education, Yesterday, Needs

  Stephen Leacock (1939). “Too Much College; Or, Education Eating Up Life: With Kindred Essays in Education and Hummour”, New York : Dodd, Mead

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• Presently I shall be introduced as 'this venerable old gentleman' and the axe will fall when they raise me to the degree of 'grand old man'. That means on our continent any one with snow-white hair who has kept out of jail till eighty.

  Stephen Leacock

  Fall, Mean, Men

  1942 My Remarkable Uncle,'Three Score and Ten'.

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• You frequently ask, where are the friends of your childhood, and urge that they shall be brought back to you. As far as I am able to learn, those of your friends who are not in jail are still right there in your native village. You point out that they were wont to share your gambols, If so, you are certainly entitled to have theirs now.

  Stephen Leacock

  Jail, Childhood, Village

  Stephen Leacock (2014). “Literary Lapses”, p.51, The Floating Press

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• A silk dress in four sections, and shoes with high heels that would have broken the heart of John Calvin.

  Stephen Leacock

  Fashion, Heart, Shoes

  Stephen Leacock (2015). “Arcadian Adventures With the Idle Rich”, p.139, Sheba Blake Publishing

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