Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.
A liberal is a man who will give away everything he doesn't own.
A conservative is a fellow who thinks a rich man should have a square deal.
Some have greatness thrust upon them, but not lately.
Blessed is he who talks in circles, for he shall become a big wheel.
The way to a woman's heart is through your wallet.
Where the criminals cover their crimes by making them legal.
Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today and it will set the pace tomorrow.
The United Nations is an uplifting experiment, dedicated to raising the standards of living in Africa , the consciences of democracies, and the price of prostitutes in New York
It is not necessary to have enemies if you go out of your way to make friends hate you.
The news of any politician's death should be listed under Public Improvements.
A set of rules laid out by professionals to show the way they would like to act if it was profitable.
Rome had senators too, and that is why it declined.
Never vote for the best candidate, vote for the one who will do the least harm.
Time is money, especially when you are talking to a lawyer or buying a commercial.
Preachers denounce sin as if it was available to everyone.
Nothing annoys a woman more than to have company drop in unexpectedly and find the house looking as it usually does.
Life is strange. Every so often a good man wins.
In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.
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