We have got a CIA station just up the road – the consulate here in Hong Kong – and I am sure they are going to be busy for the next week. And that is a concern I will live with for the rest of my life, however long that happens to be.
Just by coincidence, Senator Teddy Kennedy and I, in the last couple of days, after several months of negotiations, have reached an agreement for an immigration proposal that we will be putting out next week, ... our proposal is along the lines of make them pay a fine of a couple thousand dollars, make them work for three years, and after three years they can get in the back of the line for a green card and then eventually become citizens.
What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
Tune in next week, same Stone Cold time, same Stone Cold Channel!
Thank you for listening to Comedy Bang Bang! My name is Scott Aukerman and I will see you next week.
Today's comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an act and he told the audience, This is my act. Today's comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes he's telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
Somebody talked me into writing an autobiography about six or seven years ago. And I said I'd try. We talked into a tape recorder, and after a couple of months, I said, To hell with it. I was so depressed. It was like saying, 'This is the end.' I was more interested in what the hell was coming the next day or the next week.
An English journalist called Michael Viney told me when I was 25, that I would write well if I cared a lot what I was writing about. That worked. I went home that day and wrote about parents not understanding their children as well as we teachers did, and it was published the very next week.
The theatre only knows what it's doing next week, not like the opera, where they say: 'What are we going to do in five years' time?' A completely different attitude.
I have been keeping myself fit. I am going on holiday next week in the Mediterranean so that I can really unwind after the football season and have a rest.
Crime shows are really popular, in general, but usually, at the end of every episode, you have to let go of the people that you've invested in and then, the next week, get somebody else.
I'm in an absolute frenzy towards doing as many things as I can that I want to do today. The rest can wait till tomorrow, next week, if I'm around we'll take a look.
I find the older I get, the lower in weight I go. It's harder to recover. Living in New York City, working a job that is unpredictable and at times stressful, you're lifting way more than your max because you need to push some weight around. You put an extra plate on for the release, and then you're sore the next week. Its stress release.
The battle of the euro is being fought right now in Spain and Italy...The future of the euro is at stake in the next few weeks...
I have this idealistic and maybe naive thought that almost any song can be anything. If you record one song today, it would maybe be exciting and cool. But I could record the same song next week and it would be something completely different.
I'm not going to hang out with celebrities, I'm not going to parties. I have two songs due for Moana next week, and I'm going to go and spend some time with Maui and Moana in the ocean, in my mind.
It might sound crazy but you put your money up and take out a little every week. You put yourself on a salary instead of getting $7,000 this week, $20,000 next week and $5,000 the week after that. Take a $1,000. You got your toys, you got everything and your money under your mattress. Break it down and have a salary to take care of you and your family and stretch that money.
All the shows we did pre-airdate, and I'd come out - "Rob Lowe!" - and it was [Offers bored applause.] After the show aired? I came out - "Rob Lowe!" - and the place was, like, bedlam. And then the next week, they wouldn't let anyone under the age of 20 into the audience. And I'm going, "So that's how it works! Okay!"
If you get asked to do something that would take place down the road (say you get asked to speak at a conference that's a year away) and you wouldn't want to do it if it were taking place next week, then don't do it. This advice has helped me evaluate the opportunities that I truly want to dedicate my time to and those that I don't.
The minute you're offered another option, you're like, "You mean, I can watch this every week, if I want to, or twice this week, if I need to, and not next week, if I don't have time?" I didn't even realize it was something we wanted or needed, which is where all great innovations come from.
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