La rama que crece torcida nunca se endereza. A branch that grows crooked, or that is crooked from the beginning, will never straighten out. If you don't learn right from wrong early on, or if you don't learn manners when you are young, you will never learn them later.
The training was rigorous, hundreds and thousands of hours of meditation, self-giving. But it was easy. I loved it. I would merge again and again with the superconscious in meditation.
My teacher sent me all over the world to talk about meditation - Europe, all over America, Canada. I would drive thousands of miles, travel, all at my own expense, to do this.
I found light in the darkness ... or it found me.
Hey, maybe instead of going to college, you should drop out and I could quit my job and we can form an all-girl band with Lane, you know, like Bananarama. We could call it Tangerinarama or Banana-fana-fo-fana-rama...or something.
I entered a spiritual community when I was 20, which I was in for 11 year, with very strict meditative practices, with an Eastern teacher. It was very much like a religious order.
I never considered myself to be special. If anything, I considered myself to be awkward, and still do sometimes.
I liked my teacher very much and after some years of mediation, I began to teach meditation, referring all things that I didn't know to my own teacher.
I am the happiest person I've ever met. This is what Buddhist Yoga and a healthy dose of reading the Declaration of the Independence, The Constitution and the Federalist Papers and anything else I could get my hands on has given me.
Who put the bomp in the bomp-bomp-bomp-bomp-bomp, who put the ram in the rama-lama-ding-dong?
During those years the past life recollections began. Psychic powers developed, my meditation increased and I found myself changing, over and over again, becoming someone new almost every day.
Over the years of much self-hate, I came to realize that whether sexuality was in my life or not, it didn't seem to matter. I just surrendered the whole thing to God.
Astrologically, at that age, you experience a Saturn return. It is considered an auspicious time to "reboot" your life. It's a chance to have a clean start and move forward into something very exciting.
So I went off on my own and started the process of spiritual teaching.
At a certain point I left my spiritual teacher because I began to see the limitations of my teacher, who was a very powerful occultist, but who I thought was, to some extent, limiting others in their spiritual growth.
I began to go into samadhi, not just occasionally, but every day many times a day until I reached a point where I could no longer distinguish between ordinary and non-ordinary reality. For me it is all the same. I am in a state of continuous absorption in the Self.
From the Far Eastern perspective, 29 is considered a very special age.
In poetry, and in my study in graduate school, I was drawn to a particular poet, Theodore Roethke. I did a dissertation on "The Evolution of Matter and Spirit in the Poetry of Theodore Roethke" for my Ph.D.
I was drawn to the arts because I sensed that I was by nature Bohemian, and yet very conservative.
At the same time, I went through college, received a Ph.D. and started to teach. I wrote books.
I don't have the luxury of time to be unhappy. I have too much to do. I have too much do accomplish. Who has the time to be unhappy?
I live in the constant newness of aspiration. Whatever I think, I ignore. Whatever I feel, I don't trust. Yet I listen to my thoughts and follow my feelings.
I too have experienced the extreme pain of living, but I have also experienced some of its remarkable ecstasy.
There is no such thing as a miracle. A miracle is just what somebody else doesn't understand. If we went back into the Stone Age and we lit a match, they'd say, "Ahh miracla, miracla!"
Someone else would come, another self that was a little more refined, that had a little more purity, a little more humility, because I was quite egotistical, I thought I was quite wonderful.
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