As important in a trusting relationship as the truths you share are the lies you never have to tell.
Then the highest state of love is prayerfulness. In prayerfulness there is communion. In sex there is the I/it relationship, in love the I/thou relationship. Martin Buber stops there; his Judaic tradition won't allow him to go further. But one step more has to be taken that is neither 'I' nor 'thou' - a relationship where I and thou disappear, a relationship where two persons no longer function as two but function as one. A tremendous unity, a harmony, a deep accord - two bodies but one soul. That is the highest quality of love. I call it prayerfulness.
Love has these three stages, and compassion accordingly has three stages, and both can exist in different combinations.
Hence there are so many kinds of love and so many kinds of compassion. But the basic, the most fundamental, is to understand this three-rung ladder of love. That will help you, that will give you an insight into where you are, what kind of love you are living in and what kind of compassion is happening to you. Watch. Beware not to remain caught in it. There are higher realms, heights to be climbed, peaks to be attained.
Relationship and love are totally different things. Love is never a relationship, and relationship is never love. Love relates, but it is not a relationship. Relationship is a dead thing, a closed thing. Love is a flowing.
So the first thing to be reminded of: love is never a relationship. Then something else is masquerading as love. Maybe you are searching for a husband or a wife - you are searching for some security, you are searching for some structure. A structured life is a murdered life.
There is a fixation in the human mind for structures, because in a structured life one feels secure, one knows where one is, one knows where one stands in relationship to the other. It seems that because man is born in the womb of the mother and for nine months remains in a structure, that continues deep down in the psyche - and man is always trying to find a structure somewhere.
If he loves, he wants to make a relationship out of it immediately! He wants to get married. He wants to create a certain conditioning. He wants to make it a contract. Or he enters a church, or he enters a political party, or he enters into any club and he wants to be structured, he wants to know where he stands in the hierarchy, in what relationship. He wants to have an identity - that 'I am this.' He does not want to remain uncertain. And life is uncertain. Only death is certain.
The need to connect with one another intimately is what makes and keeps us human. The challenge throughout life is to find the courage to reach out to potential partners when our primary relationship ends and to recharge our tried-and-true unions when their sizzle starts to fizzle.
I can become you for a second and you can become me and this lifts us up.
Even when we're blindfolded, even when you're wearing sunglasses, even in the pitch black of night, we can always tell if you just ogled another woman.
Everything that reminds me of her goes through me like a spear.
All my friends say I have to get right back on the bike. And I keep saying maybe not a bike.
It all comes down to who does the dishes.
The very best relationship has a gardener and a flower. The gardener nurtures and the flower blooms.
We must be true to each other.
Only in relationship can you know yourself, not in abstraction, and certainly not in isolation.
While we may not mind being used, we resent deeply being made to feel discarded.
Are we acting like a couple? I'm just trying to get it straight. Cause I'm over here convinced that it's too early for mistakes.
Love is the most important thing in life. If you don't have (a relationship), you're always looking for one.
It's vital to have your own space so you aren't constantly in each other's pockets.
You become that to which you are most exposed.
Rather than deal with problems in relationships, I've always moved on. That's why I'm one of the very few survivors as a woman, you know.
Quality relationships are built on principles, especially the principle of trust.
The passion for setting people right is in itself an afflictive disease.
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