The last time I was charged by the FA they had a murder lawyer in against me, so it's going to be a hard case to win.
When I was in elementary school, the coach of our school (soccer) team personally unearthed my talents.
I have some cool talents. I'm really flexible and can do all sorts of twisted yoga positions. And I'm a big athlete and especially love soccer.
My position is this – street soccer is the most natural educational system that can be found
Fitness has always been one of the top priorities in my life because that's the way I grew up, with soccer being the sport of choice.
,000 people in Hampden Park. Of course they're all Scottish. Because no one else goes there. The English have an unwritten rule: they only go to places they might get back from.
Tony Cottee once played in all four divisions in one season. Cottee started 2000-01 at Leicester City, where he made a couple of Premiership appearances as a sub before being released to Norwich, in what was then Division One. In November the chance to be player-manager of Barnet came up and soon Cottee was playing in Division Three, but alas it did not work out. By March he was again looking for work and found it, with two sub appearances, at Millwall in Division Two.
I felt sorry for the match ball - it came off the pitch crying.
Is it unprecedented for two goalkeepers employed in a match comprising seven goals to be the fixture's most competent protagonists?
I wouldn't trust Newcastle's back five to protect my garden gnomes from squirrels.
It'll be nice to know that every gallon of petrol a Manchester United fan buys is going into our kitty.
When they used to come to Tottenham we'd play Who's Gonna Drive You Home? Just to wind them up.
When Rioch came to Millwall we were depressed and miserable. He's done a brilliant job of turning it all around. Now we're miserable and depressed.
When two peoples share a common passion: they are capable of empathising with each other's misery.
I can remember certain Manchester United defeats the way most people remember family bereavements or great political events. The four-nil drubbing by Barcelona, the failure to score against West Ham, the New Year's Day calamity at home to Spurs, the mauling by Middlesborough.
I liken the current situation to that of the Starship Enterprise. The shields are up and the Klingons are shooting at us and every time they land a punch they are sapping our power.
The statistics John Wesson has compiled in The Science of Soccer show that Premiership football players are vastly more likely to have been born in the first half of the school year. These were the biggest boys in the class and were thus selected for the school team. How fair is that?
I would be much more annoyed if we hadn't won the game. As a manager, you have to see the positives and I think Pires has a vaccine for the rest of his life.
So, Arsenal have signed Arsene Wenger because his name sounds a bit like the club. How long before Man Utd sign Stefan Kuntz?
According to Ferguson, grey things are invisible. Apparantly its just total luck that planes manage to find aircraft carriers in the middle of the ocean.
Having not had a chance to review the tape and obviously not been in the tunnel, I will take the Wenger amendment on this one for now.
The linesman flagged initially because he thought I was an Oldham player. Fair enough, I did have a replica shirt on - but I also have a big furry head.
As a footballer's wife, I take great exception to the way we are portrayed in Footballers' Wives.
Somewhere in there the grace of a ballet dancer joins with the strength of an SAS squaddie, the dignity of an ancient kind, the nerve of a bomb disposal officer.
The final true artform in what we're talking about is the goal itself. And for us to try and stop that from happening, we're kind of the anti-art.
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