Uncles Quotes - Page 13

• My uncle Jimmy took liver salts twice a day for 40 years. He died on Sunday, was buried Wednesday and the following Friday they had to go to the cemetery to beat his liver to death with a stick.

  Frank Carson

  Funny, Friday, Humor

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• No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

  Bill Engvall

  Funny, Humor, Parent

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• My uncle, who's an art teacher, took me under his wing and gave me a really strong foundation in art. I spent summers with him, and he taught me how to draw, how to see, how to mix colors, how to use different mediums and perspective, and so forth.

  Kadir Nelson

  Summer, Teacher, Art

  "In-depth Written Interview". TeachingBooks Interview, www.teachingbooks.net. September 7, 2010.

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• My father played in high school. My uncles played. From age five or six, I remember watching all the games. And I remember saying to my mom and dad even then that I was going to play in the NFL, and buy them a house and a car.

  Thomas Jones

  Mom, Dad, Father

  Source: www.menshealth.com

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• You must prepare yourselves, young people, because Uncle Dave's generation is getting old. We are almost ready to go to the retirement home to spend the rest of our days tapping our bedpans rhythmically in time to "easy listening" rock 'n' roll. We must pass the torch on to you, and you must grasp it, ideally by the end that is not on fire.

  Dave Barry

  Retirement, Home, Fire

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• Dumbledore raised his finger for silence, a silence which fell as though he had struck Uncle Vernon dumb.

  J. K. Rowling

  Silence, Dumb, Fingers

  J.K. Rowling (2015). “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince”, p.51, Pottermore

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• So Uncle Stuart is marrying that lady? Mom says she's going to be our aunt Amy. She's okay except she would't try any peanut butter M&M chocolate chip fudge cookies. They were good- you ate five, remember? But she said she was on a special diet, and couldn't eat something called carbs. We told her we didn't put any carbs in our cookies, just M&Ms, but she said M&Ms were carbs. Uncle Mitch, what's carbs? Email to Uncle Mitch from Haily and Brittany.

  Meg Cabot

  Mom, Aunt, Chocolate

  "Boy Meets Girl". Book by Meg Cabot, January, 2004.

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• Come with uncle and hear all proper. Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones...you are invited!

  Anthony Burgess

  Angel, Devil, Trumpets

  Stanley Kubrick, Anthony Burgess (1972). “A clockwork orange”, HarperCollins Publishers

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• Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!

  W. C. Fields

  Men, Giving, Honest

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• And do I look like the kind of man that can be intimidated?" barked Uncle Vernon. "Well..." said Moody, pushing back his bowler hat to reveal his sinisterly revolving eye. Uncle Vernon lept backward in horror and collided painfully with a luggage trolley. "Yes, I'd have to say you do, Dursley.

  J. K. Rowling

  Eye, Men, Pushing Back

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• i remember we all cried like the Missouri when my Uncle Sol's coffin lurched because somebody pressed a button (and down went my uncle Sol and started a worm farm)

  e. e. cummings

  Buttons, Coffins, Remember

  E. E. Cummings (1996). “Is 5”, p.11, W. W. Norton & Company

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• My uncle ordered popovers from the restaurant's bill of fare. And, when they were served, he regarded them with a penetrating stare. Then he spoke great words of wisdom as he sat there on that chair: "To eat these things," said my uncle, "You must exercise great care. You may swallow down what's solid, but you must spit out the air!" And as you partake of the world's bill of fare, that's darned good advice to follow. Do a lot of spitting out the hot air. And be careful what you swallow.

  Dr. Seuss

  Exercise, Air, Advice

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• Why keep in touch with them? That's what I want to know,' asked Larry despairingly. 'What satisfaction does it give you? They're all either fossilized or mental.' 'Indeed, they're not mental,' said Mother indignantly. 'Nonsense, Mother... Look at Aunt Bertha, keeping flocks of imaginary cats... and there's Great-Uncle Patrick, who wanders about nude and tells complete strangers how he killed whales with a penknife...They're all bats.

  Gerald Durrell

  Mother, Cat, Aunt

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• What Uncle Leo XIII never suspected was that his nephew's courage did not come from the need to survive or from a brute indifference inherited from his father, but from a driving need for love, which no obstacle in this world or the next would ever break.

  Gabriel Garcia Marquez

  Father, Nephew, Needs

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• What I'm worrying about is what Tom is going to say when he starts talking." "Uncle Tom?" "I wish there was something else you could call him except 'Uncle Tom,' " Aunt Dahlia said a little testily. "Every time you do it, I expect to see him turn black and start playing the banjo.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Aunt, Talking, Worry

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• Why were you lurking under our window?" "Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?" "Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice. His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage. "Listening to the news! Again?" "Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry.

  J. K. Rowling

  Aunt, Boys, Voice

  J.K. Rowling (2015). “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”, p.13, Pottermore

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• When uncle Eddie does his impression of 'Like a Virgin' it's like Madonna is coming out of his body!' Christ what an image.

  Louise Rennison

  Doe, Body, Christ

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• We'll be there, Harry," said Ron "What?" "At your Aunt and Uncle's house," said Ron, "And then we'll go with you wherever you're going." "No-" said Harry quickly; he hadn't counted on this, he had meant them to understand that he was undertaking the most dangerous journey alone. "You said it once before," said Hermione quickly, "that there was time to turn back if we wanted to. We've had time, haven't we? We're with you whatever happens.

  J. K. Rowling

  Aunt, Journey, House

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• Long ago, in a burst of friendliness, Aunty and Uncle Jimmy produced a son named Henry.

  Harper Lee

  Son, Long Ago, Jimmy

  Harper Lee (1960). “TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD”

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• It's nice when somebody tells you about their uncle. Especially when they start out telling you about their father's farm and then all of a sudden get more interested in their uncle.

  J. D. Salinger

  Father, Nice, Farms

  J.D. Salinger (1951). “The Catcher in the Rye”

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• The cheesecake was smooth and lush, with the personality of a warm and well-to-do uncle who knows a hundred dirty jokes and will die of sexual exertions in the arms of his mistress.

  Don DeLillo

  Dirty, Personality, Mistress

  Don DeLillo (2015). “Underworld: Picador Classic”, p.177, Pan Macmillan

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• He isn’t so much flirting,” Cerise murmured. “Either he doesn’t like me or he doesn’t know how.” “Of course he likes you. You’re lovely. He probably just doesn’t get it. Some men have to be hit over the head with it. Her aunt rolled her eyes. “I thought I’d have to draw your uncle Jean a giant sign. That or kidnap him and have my evil way with him, until he got the message.

  Ilona Andrews

  Eye, Aunt, Flirting

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• Do you hurt uncle Kisten', he asked.(...) but Kisten beat me to it. “Only my heart, Audric,” he said. “Ms. Rachel is like the sun. See her sparkling there with the wind in her hair and fire in her eyes? You can’t catch the sun. You can only feel its touch on your face. And if you get too much of it, it burns you.

  Kim Harrison

  Hurt, Eye, Heart

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• [In 1951] we were also told that the Russians could be parachuting from planes over our town at any time. These were the same Russians that my uncles had fought alongside only a few years earlier. Now they had become monsters who were coming to slit our throats and incinerate us. It seemed peculiar. Living under a cloud of fear like this robs a child of his spirit. It's one thing to be afraid when someone's holding a shotgun on you, but it's another thing to be afraid of something that's just not quite real.

  Bob Dylan

  Children, Real, Clouds

  Bob Dylan (2011). “Chronicles”, p.32, Simon and Schuster

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• Paper Matches My aunts washed dishes while the uncles squirted each other on the lawn with garden hoses. Why are we in here, I said, and they are out there? That’s the way it is, said Aunt Hetty, the shriveled-up one. I have the rages that small animals have, being small, being animal. Written on me was a message, “At Your Service,” like a book of paper matches. One by one we were taken out and struck. We come bearing supper, our heads on fire.

  Paulette Jiles

  Book, Taken, Animal

  Paulette Jiles (1988). “Blackwater”, Alfred a Knopf Inc

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