The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress.
The road to hell is paved with adverbs.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
The road to hell is paved with leeks and potatoes
The road to Hell is paved with unbought stuffed dogs.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
At the risk of appearing disingenuous, I don't really think of myself as 'writing humor.' I'm simply reporting on the world I observe, which is frequently hilarious.
Writing helped to have jobs that involved running around, pushing things like dish carts and wheelbarrows. It would be hard to sit at a desk all day, and then come to sit at another desk. Also, it helps to abandon hope. If I sit at my computer, determined to write a New Yorker story I won't get beyond the first sentence. It's better to put no pressure on it. What would happen if I followed the previous sentence with this one, I'll think. If the eighth draft is torture, the first should be fun. At least if you're writing humor.
Writing humor is not something every single person can do.
I had mostly been writing humor books, and my instinct is generally to go for the joke.
And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny.
Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.
My senior year of high school, I was voted Wittiest. So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing humor to see if I could be witty enough to make some money.
or simply:
