If you tell the truth, then you don't have to have a good memory
Your son went into your kitchen and took a kitchen knife.
The time to change was yesterday; the time to wake up is now.
Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work, and it annoys the pig.
I only do one thing at a time; otherwise, I get confused and then I can't trick you.
"Beauty fades," my father would tell me, "but dumb? Dumb is forever."
If it doesn't make sense, it's usually not true.
It's your life; live it well.
If you are trying to balance the scales of justice and equality in all your work relationships, you're going to come up short.
I couldn't give a rat's tutu about your emotional distress
Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.
Beauty fades, dumb is forever.
Don't make a cemetery of your life by burying your talents.
You only have one thing in business, and that is your reputation
One of the loveliest weddings I ever performed was that of a gay couple. To me if you are a good citizen, you pay your taxes, you work, you should have all the rights and responsibilities of everybody else.
Unless you believe in reincarnation, this is your one shot.
There's no cap on success. The jury stays out till you take your last breath.
Since I'm the judge, it's a very stupid thing to irritate me!
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