If you tell the truth, then you don't have to have a good memory
Your son went into your kitchen and took a kitchen knife.
The time to change was yesterday; the time to wake up is now.
Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work, and it annoys the pig.
"Beauty fades," my father would tell me, "but dumb? Dumb is forever."
I only do one thing at a time; otherwise, I get confused and then I can't trick you.
If you are trying to balance the scales of justice and equality in all your work relationships, you're going to come up short.
Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.
I couldn't give a rat's tutu about your emotional distress
Don't make a cemetery of your life by burying your talents.
There's no cap on success. The jury stays out till you take your last breath.
You only have one thing in business, and that is your reputation
One of the loveliest weddings I ever performed was that of a gay couple. To me if you are a good citizen, you pay your taxes, you work, you should have all the rights and responsibilities of everybody else.
Beauty fades, dumb is forever.
It's your life; live it well.
Unless you believe in reincarnation, this is your one shot.
If it doesn't make sense, it's usually not true.
Since I'm the judge, it's a very stupid thing to irritate me!
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