Just hit the blunt one time and see if it don't change your perception on whats important in your life.
All comedy comes from a dark place.
Genius is often called crazy, but crazy is never called genius. So you just have to put out the work and let the chips fall where they may.
Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it'll be your last headache.
If your pussy was so good, you would drive a better car.
You can't even go to Heaven if you get killed by Spinach, you can't even go. You don't even know what to tell Jesus. You Just 'You know what Jesus, I did have a salad, I really Did I- I Didn't know what I was thinking about.
I'm a grown man. I do whatever I feel like doing with my hair. And if for some reason you feel like there's a magnet and you should have something to say to me, then more power to you. I hope you're prepared.
A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and got big.
There's only winning and losing, and in our society, as in all societies, there's the person that's doing the winning, or there's the person that's facilitating the winning.
White people, you did not get a receipt for niggas, you can not return us!
Hello?... No I'm sorry no Shaquita here. Well what number did you dial?.. No it's a nine not a seven... Well try it if it doest work call me back we'll figure this thing out.
My name is "A Pimp named Slickback" Wait... A Pimp?? ... Named Slickback. Yes, please say the whole thing if you would. Yes, that includs the "A Pimp Named" part. Yes Tom, everytime.
Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure.
The past is something for you to learn from and the future is something that you hope is going to happen, but I'm always speaking to my actual fans in present tense.
I think pimp, therefore i am.
My legs tired, ain't your legs tired!? His legs ain't Tired! He Just... Tinktinktinktinktinktink, TinktinkTinktinkTinktink!! Just paperclips and Sparks everywhere!
He comes back with the script, and it's racist like a 1940's Newspaper.
America is a bunch o' bullies. Tell me what the Iraq uniform is like. Don't worry, I'll wait.
I apologize for the fact that the word ‘anti-Mexican’ is being said to a black guy in America.
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