My whole thing is to entertain, make people laugh and to forget about the real world for awhile.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.
Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale.
You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
Comedy is so hard to do, so it was very cool to do dead pan humor.
Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.
Comedy comes from conflict, from hatred.
Comedy is tragedy that happens to other people.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian...
Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before. We can actually finish jokes.
Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try to imagine a famous witty saying that is not immediately clear.
I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
The Parent Trap gave my career another boost, starring in family comedies.
Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
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