You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.
What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant.
Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!
I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.
I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.
If I can make a teacher's salary doing comedy, I think that's better than being a teacher.
Comedy is a very approval-oriented field.
Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.
Everyone who wants to make it in comedy goes to L.A., so a million comedians fight for time on three stages. If you get in there in New York, you're working eight times a night sometimes. Who's going to be funny, the guy who works once a week, or the guy working eight times a night?
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