Telling the entire world and his dog how good a manager I was. I knew I was the best but I should have said nowt and kept the pressure off 'cos they'd have worked it out for themselves.
I can't even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball - he might grab mine.
I'm sure the England selectors thought if they took me on and gave me the job, I'd want to run the show. They were shrewd, because that's exactly what I would have done.
Bill eventually became Mr Tottenham Hotspur, and produced such a dazzling team at White Hart Lane that they won the double and played the game in a way that was an object lesson to everybody.
The ugliest player I ever signed was Kenny Burns.
If he'd been English or Swedish, he'd have walked the England job.
I’ve decided to pick my moment to retire very carefully – in about 200 years’ time.
Resignations are for Prime Ministers and those caught with their trousers down, not for me.
We used to go to the pictures every Saturday night but we had to leave a little bit early and get home and watch Match of the Day - and my wife still complains she missed the last five minutes of every film we saw.
Who the hell wants fourteen pairs of shoes when they go on holiday? I haven't had fourteen pairs in my life.
Being thick isn't an affliction if you're a footballer, because your brains need to be in your feet. And Beckham works hard, he's brave and he crosses a ball superbly. He treats a football like he does a wife, lovingly, with caresses.
Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive.
Walk on water? I know most people out there will be saying that instead of walking on it, I should have taken more of it with my drinks. They are absolutely right.
I'm dealing with my drinking problem and I have a reputation for getting things done.
Acne is a bigger problem than injuries.
My wife says OBE stands for Old Big 'Ead.
You don't want roast beef and Yorkshire every night and twice on Sunday.
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