You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and discovering there's a gas bill tied to it.
Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to bed with Martin Luther.
Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.
I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends