Phones Quotes - Page 12

• New York became the first state to ban talking on hand-held cell phones while driving. First-time violators could receive a fine of $100, with an additional mandatory six-month jail sentence if your ringer plays a Latin-themed novelty song.

  Jon Stewart

  Song, New York, Latin

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• I developed several comedy phone calls.

  Shelley Berman

  Phone Calls, Comedy

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• I'm totally normal in every respect, but I have this one quirk - I can't give out a number without laughing. It's a problem when I'm giving my credit card number over the phone because they always think: 'He must have just stolen it.'

  Emo Philips

  Thinking, Numbers, Giving

  "Emo Philips" by Sanjiv Bhattacharya, www.theguardian.com. July 1, 2006.

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• Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he's saying to me, Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar?

  Don Rickles

  Kings, Thinking, Cells

  "What I've Learned: Don Rickles". Interview with Mike Sager, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

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• Computers shouldn't be unusable. You don't need to know how to work a telephone switch to make a phone call, or how to use the Hoover Dam to take a shower, or how to work a nuclear-power plant to turn on the lights.

  Scott McNealy

  Light, Use, Phone Calls

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• I'm in a new club, by the way. And I don't know if you're first timers like I am, but I'm in the 'I Just Dropped My Cell Phone In My Own Piss' Club. Have you done that? Yeah, good times. I'm on the phone and I forget that I'm using shoulder technique. Urinals were taken so I went in to use the regular john. And as I'm standing there, mid-conversation, I'm like 'Are you serious?' and it just started to toboggan right down my powerful chest.

  Dane Cook

  Powerful, Taken, Cells

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• It's cute when you meet young boys and they're bright red and breathing like they've run up the stairs, but they're just sitting outside the door. I've had phone calls in the middle of the night when I stay at hotels.

  Cameron Diaz

  Cute, Running, Boys

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• If you go to Germany and get drunk, at some point you will try to look up Hitler in the phone book.

  Dave Attell

  Book, Drunk, Trying

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• I bullshit on the phone all day with a variety of people discussing various projects, and occasionally write jokes.

  Al Madrigal

  Writing, People, Bullshit

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• Tiger Woods is stupid; not for cheating, but for having one cell phone. What type of player you know has one cell phone?

  Donnell Rawlings

  Cheating, Stupid, Player

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• Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?

  J. B. Smoove

  Tupperware, Stuff, Remember

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• My uncle was the first one in my family to get a telephone. It was like going to the moon. He came running over to tell us, and we were so proud. A telephone! We didn't have to go to the candy store to phone any more. We went around telling everyone. But we didn't hear from my uncle for three days, so my father got worried. He said, Let's go over there. We got there, and my uncle was very depressed. I asked, What's the matter? He said, I got a telephone and nobody called me. He didn't give his number out - he didn't know that you had to!

  Pat Cooper

  Running, Uncles, Father

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• Some advice to you guys, don't ever take keep your phone in your pocket whilst on a roller coaster.

  Asa Butterfield

  Guy, Advice, Pockets

  Twitter post from Feb 24, 2015

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• Downloading a Tamagotchi egg onto my phone is possibly the loudest my biological clock has ever ticked.

  AJ Lee

  Eggs, Clock, Biological Clock

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• I took two important phone calls while in the shower today because I'm a goddam professional.

  AJ Lee

  Two, Important, Today

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• My phone just auto-corrected my name to "Jamie unnecessary," instead of Jamie Lynn.

  Jamie Lynn Sigler

  Names, Unnecessary, Jamie

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• I hate phone calls so I believe in a telephone armistice. To me, the idea of calling someone unprompted is basically saying, 'Hey, stop whatever you're doing and talk to me right now.

  Alexis Ohanian

  Hate, Believe, Ideas

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• Half the people in the world have never made a phone call... half.

  William Esrey

  People, Half, World

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• The sign at the entrance to my gym locker room says, no cell phones please, cell phones are cameras. They are not. A camera is a Nikon or a Leica or Rolleiflex, and when you strike someone with one, they know they have been hit with something substantial.

  Danny Lyon

  Cells, Cameras, Leica

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• I never thought, in my lifetime, that you'd be able to watch movies, read books and listen to music from a phone, but I guess the technology of tomorrow is here today.

  Dolly Parton

  Book, Technology, Watches

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• My first phone was two tin cans tied together with string, and it worked pretty good.

  Dolly Parton

  Tin Cans, Two, Together

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• When I found out that I was going to be CBS every morning, my first phone call was to Jenny Craig. Ten days later, I lost nine pounds. Now I even take the plan's popcorn with me to the movies.

  Gayle King

  Morning, Popcorn, Nine

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• Imagine if for years your habit is to use the phone when you're having a massage on the bed, even one minute before going out to train? For 25 days I accepted this, because my first priority was to work on the field. However, I've said that from now if someone comes inside with a mobile phone, even in their bag, I'll throw it in the North Sea. They're banned.

  Paolo Di Canio

  Years, Sea, Priorities

  "Ketchup off menu for Di Canio's Sunderland". www.foxnews.com. August 17, 2013.

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• There's ten of us, we've been best friends for thirty years. Ten guys. And their wives, and their kids, are all family now. I'm not big on keeping up on the phone, none of us are. Some guys I won't talk to for two months and then you pick up the phone and hear, "So, anyway." There's no guilt or where have you been? or what's been going on? or why haven't we talked? There's an ease to it.

  George Clooney

  Kids, Years, Two

  "George Clooney: What I've Learned" by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. December 13, 2011.

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• Cell phones are so convenient that they're an inconvenience.

  Haruki Murakami

  Cells, Cell Phone, Inconvenience

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