Paul Reiser Quotes - Page 4

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• When you realize you would consider not having a child just so you could take an occasional snooze and be available to see Batman Retires the same weekend it comes out, you have to take a good hard look at yourself and acknowledge, I am a shallow, shallow person.

  Paul Reiser

  Children, Weekend, Shallow Person

  Paul Reiser (2012). “Babyhood”, p.12, Harper Collins

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• Why do you think people close their eyes when they kiss? Think about it. In the real world, if you saw someone an-inch-and-a-half away, coming at you with their eyes open and their lips puckered, you'd scream. It's alarming.

  Paul Reiser

  Real, Eye, Kissing

  Paul Reiser (2011). “Couplehood”, p.277, Bantam

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• That's the nice thing about doing stand-up. There's no development, you just go out there and get an immediate response as to whether something is good or bad. Getting a laugh is the best measure of how well you're doing.

  Paul Reiser

  Nice, Laughing, Development

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• By shrewdly linking procreation to an act likely to make you stupid with excitement, God has seen to it that Life does indeed go on. It's possible, by the way, that this is why God's name comes up so often in the middle of the act; it's a salute to the author: Hey, whoever made this up - thanks.

  Paul Reiser

  Stupid, Names, Doe

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• New parents always sound like hucksters in a pyramid scheme. Anyone who has kids and then gets you to go and have kids gets a check from Huckster Headquarters.

  Paul Reiser

  Kids, Pyramid Schemes, Pyramids

  Paul Reiser (2012). “Babyhood”, p.18, Harper Collins

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• When you get busy, the priorities change. In your twenties, you hang out with who you were in school with. Then you grow up and you hang out with the people you're playing ball with, things you like doing with. When you get married, it changes a bit and you lose some friends, or you gain other friends. You gain couple-y friends. It changes again when you have children, and then when your children are the focus of your life.

  Paul Reiser

  Children, Growing Up, School

  Source: tv.avclub.com

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• In traditional TV, it's very hard to have the luxury of banking all your scripts and getting everything in a row, but it does make it very easy, and it's very productive and beneficial and you learn as you're going.

  Paul Reiser

  Easy, Productive

  Source: tv.avclub.com

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• You know what? The obvious is obvious for a reason.

  Paul Reiser

  Reason, Obvious, Knows

  Source: www.ew.com

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• It was trying to make my tennis game look mildly respectable, which I found you don't even really need to practice if you have a really good editor. They can edit it and you're like, "Hey, it looks like I'm playing really well." That was the fun part, but it was like going to summer camp.

  Paul Reiser

  Summer, Fun, Practice

  Source: www.avclub.com

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