Jerry Seinfeld Quotes About House

Quotes about: House

• What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Book, People, House

• I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Suicide, Suicidal, House

• My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Daughter, Wife, House

• You know I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately, my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning. Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the city.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Morning, Brother, Cities

  "Seinfeld" (season 3), "The Parking Garage" (3.6), September 18, 1991.

• I had a parakeet that used to fly around the house and crash into these huge mirrors my mother put in. Ever heard of this interior design principle, that a mirror makes it seem like you have an entire other room? What kind of jerk walks up to a mirror and goes, Hey look, there's a whole other room in there. There's a guy that looks just like me in there.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Mother, Mirrors, Guy

• I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Nice, Office, House

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