Jerry Seinfeld Quotes About Waiting

Quotes about: Waiting

• I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Suicide, Suicidal, House

• I hate the waiting room. Because it's called the waiting room, there's no chance of not waiting. It's built, designed, and intended for waiting. Why would they take you right away when they've got this room all set up?

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Hate, Waiting Rooms, Chance

• Kids don't say, "Wait." They say, "Wait up, hey wait up!" Because when you're little, your life is up. The future is up. Everything you want is up. "Hold up. Shut up! Mum, I'll clean up. Let me stay up!" Parents, of course, are just the opposite. Everything is down. "Just calm down. Slow down. Come down here! Sit down. Put... that... down."

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Kids, Opposites, Waiting

• I have a friend who's collecting unemployment insurance. This guy has never worked so hard in his life as he has to keep this thing going. He's down there every week, waiting on the lines and getting interviewed and making up all these lies about looking for jobs. If they had any idea of the effort and energy that he is expending to avoid work, I'm sure they'd give him a raise.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Jobs, Lying, Ideas

• Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, "Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff."

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Baby, Men, Drink Milk

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