Ambrose Bierce Quotes - Page 34

• Miss, n. A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. In the general abolition of social titles in this our country they miraculously escaped to plague us. If we must have them let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to Mh.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Country, Men, Two

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.145, 谷月社

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• Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Missing, Sound, Titles

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.145, 谷月社

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• A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Age, Nervous

  Ambrose Bierce (2011). “Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, and Memoirs: The Devil's Dictionary, Tales, and Memoirs”, p.842, Library of America

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• A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Culture, Substance

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.10, 谷月社

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• REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Strong, War, Gentleman

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.197, University of Georgia Press

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• DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Influence

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “The Devil's Dictionary: Complete & Unabridged”, p.53, Courier Corporation

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• READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Country, Reading, Sphinx

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.176, 谷月社

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• PRE-EXISTENCE, n. An unnoted factor in creation.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Creation, Existence, Factors

  Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.96, Courier Corporation

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• NOUMENON, n. That which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can be apprehended only by a process of reasoning - which is a phenomenon.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Process, Latter, Existence

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.151, 谷月社

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• INCOMPOSSIBLE, adj. Unable to exist if something else exists. Two things are incompossible when the world of being has scope enough for one of them, but not enough for both - as Walt Whitman's poetry and God's mercy to man.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Men, Two, Poetry

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.104, 谷月社

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• REPUBLIC, n. A nation in which, the thing governing and the thing governed being the same, there is only a permitted authority to enforce an optional obedience.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Republic, Obedience, Authority

  Ambrose Bierce, S. T. Joshi, David E. Schultz (2000). “The Fall of the Republic and Other Political Satires”, p.218, Univ. of Tennessee Press

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• PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace; that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Christian, Religion, Progress

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2476, Delphi Classics

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• The best kind of onion soup is the simplest kind.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Onions, Soup, Kind

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• When in Rome, do as Rome does.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Rome, Cities, Doe

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• SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Book, Fool, Distinction

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.211, University of Georgia Press

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• DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Science, Pulse, Physicians

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.56, University of Georgia Press

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• GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Differences, World, Geographers

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.75, 谷月社

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• LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.

  Ambrose Bierce

  War, Self Esteem, Swim

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.153, University of Georgia Press

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• VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Understanding, Suffering, Dunces

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 20pt Edition”, p.462, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• LICKSPITTLE, n. A useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper . . . the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under another aspect, although the latter is frequently found as an independent species.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Independent, Editing, Independence

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 24pt Edition”, p.7, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• PLUNDER, v. To take the property of another without observing the decent and customary reticences of theft. To wrest the wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanishing opportunity.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Opportunity, Vanishing, Wealth

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 24pt Edition”, p.125, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Opportunity, Frowning, Lasts

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.163, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• To those who view the voyage of life from the port of departure the bark that has accomplished any considerable distance appears already in close approach to the farther shore.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Life, Distance, Views

  Ambrose Bierce (2015). “Can Such Things Be?”, p.3, Sheba Blake Publishing

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• Along the road of life are many pleasure resorts, but think not that by tarrying in them you will take more days to the journey. The day of your arrival is already recorded.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Life, Journey, Thinking

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Epigrams by Ambrose Bierce”, p.13, e-artnow

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• Immoral" is the judgment of the stalled ox on the gamboling lamb.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Lambs, Morality, Judgment

  Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 8 Epigrams, On With the Dance, Negligible Tales”, p.238, tredition

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