Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.
If it wasn't for golf, I don't know what I'd be doing. If my IQ had been two points lower, I'd have been a plant somewhere.
I thought Manual Labor was a Mexican golf pro.
When you're poor, you know nothing about the future, you know nothing about the world, nothing that goes on outside 300 yards around you.
In case of a thunderstorm, stand in the middle of the fairway and hold up a one iron. Not even God can hit a one iron.
To me, the [British] Open is the tournament I would come to if I had to leave a month before and swim over.
If you've ever driven across Texas, you know how different one area of the state can be from another. Take El Paso. It looks as much like Dallas as I look like Jack Nicklaus
Show me a golfer who doesn't have a mean streak, and I'll show you a weak competitor.
I'm not scared of very much. I've been hit by lightning and been in the Marine Corps for four years.
I'm not out there just to be dancing around. I expect to win every time I tee up.
Just remember, somewhere there's some guy who's tired of putting up with her crap
Only bad golfers are lucky. They're the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky.
Chipping and putting for par is like a dog chasing cars, he won't be doing it for very long.
Living in Dallas, I root for the Mavericks and the Stars and the Cowboys, but I've always pulled for the Chicago Cubs. I enjoy watching them play.
Arnie has more people watching him park the car than we do out on the course.
It's the most fun I've had with my clothes on.
I've traveled the world and been about everywhere you can imagine. There's not anything I'm scared of except my wife.
I believe in reincarnation. In my last life I was a peasant. Next time around, I'd like to be an eagle. Who hasn't dreamed they could fly? They're a protected species, too.
I'm a golfaholic, no question about that. Counseling wouldn't help me. They'd have to put me in prison, and then I'd talk the warden into building a hole or two and teach him how to play.
His nerve, his memory, and I can't remember the third thing.
When it comes to the game of life, I figure I've played the whole course.
There is no such thing as a natural golfer but you become one by hitting thousands of balls
A rough should have high grass. When you go bowling they don't give you anything for landing in the gutter, do they?
When you really deep down look at it, we go to bed every night, get up every morning, stay here for 70 or 80 years, and then we die.
My family was so poor the lady next door gave birth to me.
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