Paul Provenza Quotes

• We look at the ancient Greeks with their gods on a mountain top throwing lightning bolts and say, 'Those ancient Greeks. They were so silly. So primitive and naive. Not like our religions. We have burning bushes talking to people and guys walking on water. We're ...sophisticated.'

  Paul Provenza

  Silly, Talking, People

  45 Copy quote

• If I had the flag that Betsy Ross worked so hard on, I wouldn't destroy it. I'd put it up on EBay because it's gotta be worth some serious coin. And that is the American way.

  Paul Provenza

  Ebay, Flags, Coins

  Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

  6 Copy quote

• How many impressionist painters painted the same damned thing? How many actors have played the same part in renditions of a play or dancers do the same dances.

  Paul Provenza

  Play, Dancer, Actors

  4 Copy quote

• Some performers are brilliant comedians, some are genius musicians, and some just make you happy to be alive. THE BOBS are all of that - and then some.

  Paul Provenza

  Comedian, Genius, Alive

  4 Copy quote

• We didn't choose the joke because it's filthy! We chose it because of the structure!

  Paul Provenza

  Structure, Filthy, Jokes

  4 Copy quote

• Children in a third world country. That's how we spread democracy.

  Paul Provenza

  Country, Children, Democracy

  Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

  5 Copy quote

• I actually had to leave the country for infractions to fall off my record.

  Paul Provenza

  Country, Fall, Records

  4 Copy quote

• There is no democrats or republicans, right or left, red state or blue state. We are all one. And we are all unified against Mexicans.

  Paul Provenza

  Blue, Red, Republican

  Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

  4 Copy quote

• I know jazz is completely un-American. But the reason why America doesn't like it is because it's not funny. We [americans] have made jazz funny.

  Paul Provenza

  America, Reason Why, Jazz

  Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

  4 Copy quote

• I actually go to church. I know it's hard for you to believe. It's only because you know that Jesus on the cross? I love his smooth hairless body.

  Paul Provenza

  Jesus, Believe, Church

  Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

  4 Copy quote

• As a comedian, I'm like one of those on-the-scene reporters. I will actually go and try to find disasters so I can write jokes as the disasters unfold.

  Paul Provenza

  Writing, Comedian, Trying

  Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

  4 Copy quote

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