My teacher knew that I always had a girlfriend. For some reason, he never said anything to me about it.
Some of the most exalted states of consciousness I experienced were in bed with someone, alone, or with my spiritual teacher. There was never a difference for me.
I found the experiences that I had with sexuality were wonderful, they were very uplifting - we had a good time - and they didn't seem to affect the level of my mediation.
As my meditative experiences grew, I had wonderful relationships. I met the most wonderful women, who meditated and shared certain understandings that I had.
I seemed to be leading a very incongruous life from the point of view of the definition of the community I was in.
I went through times of self-hate, thinking how undeveloped spiritual I was. Everyone else in the ashram, a thousand people, nobody had a girlfriend or boyfriend. I did.
Honesty, I went through terrible, terrible times where I just took myself over the coals. I thought I must be the most impure person in the world ... but because that is reverse egotism, I thought I must be the second most impure person in the world.
I realized that my friends in the ashram needed to be celibate because, for them, sexuality was a very tacky issue.
Over the years of much self-hate, I came to realize that whether sexuality was in my life or not, it didn't seem to matter. I just surrendered the whole thing to God.
I found light in the darkness ... or it found me.
During those years the past life recollections began. Psychic powers developed, my meditation increased and I found myself changing, over and over again, becoming someone new almost every day.
Someone else would come, another self that was a little more refined, that had a little more purity, a little more humility, because I was quite egotistical, I thought I was quite wonderful.
My teacher sent me all over the world to talk about meditation - Europe, all over America, Canada. I would drive thousands of miles, travel, all at my own expense, to do this.
I liked my teacher very much and after some years of mediation, I began to teach meditation, referring all things that I didn't know to my own teacher.
At a certain point I left my spiritual teacher because I began to see the limitations of my teacher, who was a very powerful occultist, but who I thought was, to some extent, limiting others in their spiritual growth.
So I went off on my own and started the process of spiritual teaching.
I began to go into samadhi, not just occasionally, but every day many times a day until I reached a point where I could no longer distinguish between ordinary and non-ordinary reality. For me it is all the same. I am in a state of continuous absorption in the Self.
From the Far Eastern perspective, 29 is considered a very special age.
One day I was meditating on a cliff overlooking the ocean in Southern California and I was absorbed in a state of high meditation. As I came out of the meditation and became aware of the sense world the world around me I knew that I had a new name. And the name, of course, was Rama.
Rama is a fairly common name in India. It symbolizes an individual who is interested both in enlightenment and martial arts. I do not claim to have any past life connection with the historical Rama. It's just a name I liked.
I too have experienced the extreme pain of living, but I have also experienced some of its remarkable ecstasy.
I am the happiest person I've ever met. This is what Buddhist Yoga and a healthy dose of reading the Declaration of the Independence, The Constitution and the Federalist Papers and anything else I could get my hands on has given me.
I don't have the luxury of time to be unhappy. I have too much to do. I have too much do accomplish. Who has the time to be unhappy?
My happiness is dependent upon light. Since light is endless, I'm bound to be happy always.
I studied with a number of different teachers. But really, I've never studied with teachers. To be honest, the only thing that's ever interested me in life is eternity. Nothing else makes any sense to me.
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