I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.
Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all.
I like getting married, but I don't like being married.
I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much
Maxwell is serious, dedicated, awkward, forgetful, pompous to a certain degree, sentimental.
I did movie star impressions as a kid in high school. Somehow they just got out of hand.
I remember that the priest finally said to me, 'You wouldn't like to have a religion that makes things easy for you.' Now I know that both faith and intellect are components of religious belief.
I am very excited to be the head women's basketball coach at Beloit College, ... This is a great opportunity for me. I am looking forward to putting my stamp on the program. I am confident that I can and will be successful here.
I was married awfully young and I felt trapped. My wife had been divorced and all the time we were married we were out of the Church. It wasn't until we were divorced that we became good Catholics again.
I am a quick study - I can memorize a script in an hour - but I can't remember a name three seconds. I've even forgotten my wife's name on occasion.
It was a special show that became a cult classic of sorts, and I made a lot of money for it.
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