Andy Kindler Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• Tracy Morgan apologizes for his homophobic rant, still no apologies for the sketch about the guy living under the street.

  Andy Kindler

  Apology, Guy, Apologizing

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• Judah Friedlander, I'm ok with you being the world champion for a few years more. That's a hook with legs. But I think he should make one more hat, that says 'there's a limit to how funny words on a hat can be'. And then move to a chapeau.

  Andy Kindler

  Moving, Thinking, Years

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• I don't really know what's wrong with Jay Leno. I don't have the training to make a professional diagnosis.

  Andy Kindler

  Training, Diagnosis, Knows

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• I believe at the end of my career I'll be retired into the recurring character hall of fame.

  Andy Kindler

  Believe, Character, Careers

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• I get some acting jobs. I like it other than the constant slipping in and out of character.

  Andy Kindler

  Jobs, Character, Acting

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• I don't believe in burning holy books, but I am organizing a protest. I'll be burning all my Dennis Miller VHS cassettes as a special protest. I don't want to hear the introduction 'you may have seen our next comedian on the Hannity show'.

  Andy Kindler

  Believe, Book, Comedian

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• CNN has a thing called You Choose the News. Y'know what CNN? I'm turning you on because I don't know the news. I was hoping you could help me.

  Andy Kindler

  Cnn, News, Helping

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• People are trying so hard to become famous. Johnny Marbles, he tried to throw a pie in Rupert Murdoch's face. What do I gotta do, give Sumner Redstone a wedgie?

  Andy Kindler

  Pie, People, Giving

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• I'm still working on my time machine. If I ever perfect it, I'm going back in time to prevent Ace Ventura 2 from being made. And then I'm going after Hitler.

  Andy Kindler

  Perfect, Machines, Aces

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• Entertainment Weekly said that Parks and Rec is the smartest comedy on tv. Call me when it's the funniest.

  Andy Kindler

  Parks And Rec, Entertainment, Tvs

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• I don't think there's anything Craig Ferguson could say that would make me laugh. Ad-libbing is not the same as entertainment.

  Andy Kindler

  Thinking, Laughing, Ferguson

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• Once when Larry the Cable Guy was on Conan's show, Conan O'Brien was so offended by Larry's material, he had to walk away from the desk he was so offended.

  Andy Kindler

  Guy, Conan, Desks

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