Kristen Schaal Quotes

Quotes about:

• Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Baby, Humor

  175 Copy quote

• No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.

  Kristen Schaal

  Real, Different, Kind

  Interview with Kyle Ryan, www.avclub.com. November 13, 2007.

  12 Copy quote

• Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Humor, Turkeys

  48 Copy quote

• If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Humor, Moon

  5 Copy quote

• I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Humor, Feet

  5 Copy quote

• Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Humor, Blow

  4 Copy quote

• He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in the end, love overcame. And I got what I wanted. I always get what I want.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Humor, Want

  "Fictional character: Mel". "Flight of the Conchords / New Fans", www.imdb.com. 2007.

  9 Copy quote

• I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can.

  Kristen Schaal

  Lonely, Home, Writing

  Interview with Steve Heisler, tv.avclub.com. January 20, 2011.

  5 Copy quote

• I would love for people to know that the label feminist is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.

  Kristen Schaal

  Mean, People, Support

  "The Hot Seat: Daily Show contributor Kristen Schaal". Interview with Sarah Theeboom, www.timeout.com. June 12, 2012.

  7 Copy quote

• This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Humor, Ambitious

  7 Copy quote

• Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

  Kristen Schaal

  People, Comedy, Messed Up

  "The Hot Seat: Daily Show contributor Kristen Schaal". Interview with Sarah Theeboom, www.timeout.com. June 12, 2012.

  8 Copy quote

• Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Humor, Toenails

  6 Copy quote

• A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Humor, Fighting

  5 Copy quote

• 1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Valentine, Moving

  Twitter post from Feb 14, 2011

  4 Copy quote

• I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.

  Kristen Schaal

  Thinking, Supposed To Be

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  7 Copy quote

• The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Humor, Ugly

  7 Copy quote

• If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Humor, Beer

  4 Copy quote

• Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Humor, Guy

  4 Copy quote

• The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Humor, Airports

  4 Copy quote

• Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Stupid, Humor

  4 Copy quote

• You know, quite a few species of fish require two or more sexual partners.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Humor, Two

  6 Copy quote

• I'd hate to be a writer forever and never perform, and I'd hate to perform and not write. I get sad if time has passed and I haven't written or made anything. I'm an artist.

  Kristen Schaal

  Hate, Writing, Artist

  Interview with Kyle Ryan, tv.avclub.com. November 13, 2007.

  4 Copy quote

• You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Humor, Handsome

  4 Copy quote

• Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you.

  Kristen Schaal

  Mean, Funny Marriage, Married

  4 Copy quote

• As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.

  Kristen Schaal

  Funny, Sex, Humor

  4 Copy quote

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