• I am, in fact, the complete anti-Messiah, and detest converts almost as much as I detest missionaries. My writings, such as they are, have had only one purpose: to attain for H. L. Mencken that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which a cow enjoys on giving milk.

    "For the Defense Written for the Associated Press, for use in my obituary" by H. L. Mencken, November 20, 1940.