Funeral Quotes - Page 15

• Now there is a society where the funeral industry got completely out of control.

  Jessica Mitford

  Industry

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• I worry that friends will slowly become professional pallbearers, waiting for each death, of their lovers, friends and neighbors, and polishing their funeral speeches; perfecting their rituals of death rather than a relatively simple ritual of life such as screaming in the streets.

  David Wojnarowicz

  Simple, Worry, Waiting

  David Wojnarowicz (2017). “Close to the Knives: A Memoir of Disintegration”, p.113, Canongate Books

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• It's my policy not to review funerals.

  A.M. Homes

  Reviews, Policy

  A.M. Homes (2012). “May We Be Forgiven”, p.54, Granta Books

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• Republicans know well that a change of rhetorical pace is necessary. But efforts by their leaders to damp down the bellicosity of newly elected Tea Party types is running into the fact that the Tea Partiers have only the high volume setting on their amplifiers, just like Palin. They're like a couple having a fight at a funeral; politely sotto voce, then suddenly bursting out fortissimo with their plaints and accusations.

  Alexander Cockburn

  Running, Couple, Party

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• My situation is a solemn one: life is offered to me on the condition of eating beefsteaks. But death is better than cannibalism. My will contains directions for my funeral, which will be followed, not by mourning coaches, but by oxen, sheep, flocks of poultry, and a small traveling aquarium of live fish, all wearing white scarves in honor of the man who perished rather than eat his fellow creatures. It will be, without the exception of Noah's Ark, the most remarkable thing of its kind ever seen.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Men, Aquariums, White

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• Sometimes the truth don't rhyme, sometime the lies get millions of views, funerals for little girls is that appealing to you?

  Chance the Rapper

  Girl, Lying, Views

  Song: Acid Rain, Album: Acid Rap, 2013

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• A conservative young man has wound up his life before it was unreeled. We expect old men to be conservative but when a nation's young men are so, its funeral bell is already rung.

  Henry Ward Beecher

  Life, Men, Bells

  Henry Ward Beecher (1858). “Life Thoughts”, p.120

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• The Metropolitan Museum of Art some time ago held a display of contemporary art at which $52,000 was awarded to American sculptors, painters, and artists in allied fields. The award for the best painting went to the canvas of an Illinois artist. It was described as "a macabre, detailed work showing a closed door bearing a funeral wreath." Equally striking was the work's title: "That which I should have done, I did not do."

  James Keller

  Time, Art, Work

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• Hired mourners at a funeral say and do - A little more than they whose grief is true

  Horace

  Grief, Littles

  Horace (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Horace (Illustrated)”, p.448, Delphi Classics

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• I felt as if I had attended the funeral of someone I didn't know.

  Pauline Kael

  Knows, Felt, Ifs

  Pauline Kael (2011). “5001 Nights at the Movies”, p.277, Macmillan

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• Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals when their cheery effect is needed.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Birthday, Cards, Greeting Card

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.12, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• Inarticulate wretches have been behind most of the major advances in civilization. If Vincent Van Gogh had been able to get on with his neighbours, then he might have become an excellent painter-decorator, and received a big turn out at his funeral, and that would be that. But the genes wouldn't let him.

  Declan Lynch

  Civilization, Would Be, Genius

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• His pear-shaped head, I could now see, was situated on top of a pear-shaped body, which his black gown caused to resemble a piece of fruit going to a funeral.

  Clive James

  Black, Fruit, Gowns

  Clive James (2009). “May Week Was In June”, p.16, Pan Macmillan

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• The actions of the police division today will be to assist the church for the funeral. We anticipate that a fairly large crowd will be outside the church and the general area, ... We're trying to approach everything with common sense.

  Thomas Streicher

  Common Sense, Police, Church

  " 'Crucial day' begins in Cincinnati", www.cnn.com. April 14, 2001.

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• But you know what? When I die, everybody is invited to come take a selfie at my funeral. Except for my enemies. They're not invited to the funeral, period.

  Ezra Koenig

  Enemy, Periods, Invited

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• The point is that no matter what you choose to do with your body when you die, it won't, ultimately, be very appealing. If you are inclined to donate yourself to science, you should not let images of dissection or dismemberment put you off. They are no more or less gruesome, in my opinion, than ordinary decay or the sewing shut of your jaws via your nostrils for a funeral viewing.

  Mary Roach

  Ordinary, Cadavers, Decay

  Mary Roach (2004). “Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers”, p.82, W. W. Norton & Company

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• Love is the funeral of hearts.

  Ville Valo

  Heart, Love Is

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• An adopted son shall never take the family, name and the estate of his natural father, the funeral cake follows the family, name and the estate, the funeral offerings of him who gives ,his son in adoption cease, as far as that son is concerned.

  Guru Nanak

  Father, Son, Cake

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• Conduct your triumph as a funeral.

  Laozi

  Triumph, Management

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• Imagine yourself at your funeral. Ask yourself what you want your family and friends to say about you. How will you be remembered and what impact will you have had on other people's lives? How did you make the world a better place?

  Robert Cheeke

  Motivational, Bodybuilding, Impact

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• Christ never preached any funeral sermons.

  Dwight L. Moody

  Death, Prayer, Children

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• 'I shall have heaven and earth for my coffin and its shell; the sun and moon for my two round symbols of jade, the stars and constellations for my pearls and jewels; and all things assisting as the mourners. Will not the provisions for my funeral be complete? What could you add to them?'

  Zhuangzi

  Stars, Moon, Jewels

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• Funerals often make us want sex-it's one in the eye for death.

  Thomas Harris

  Sex, Eye, Want

  Thomas Harris (2009). “Red Dragon”, p.291, Penguin

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• I soon began to dream. ... I heard subdued sobs, as if a number of people were weeping. ... I left my bed and wandered downstairs. ... There I met with a sickening surprise. Before me was a catafalque, on which rested a corpse wrapped in funeral vestments. Around it were stationed soldiers who were acting as guards; and there was a throng of people, gazing mournfully upon the corpse, whose face was covered, others weeping pitifully. 'Who is dead in the White House?' I demanded of one of the soldiers, 'The President,' was his answer; 'he was killed by an assassin.''

  Abraham Lincoln

  Dream, White, Numbers

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• When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.

  Tom Lehrer

  Thinking, Worry, May

  Song: We Will All Go Together When We Go, Album: More of Tom Lehrer

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