Funny Halloween Quotes

• Hobgoblins know the proper way to dance: Arms akimbo, loopy legs askew, Leaping into darkness with delight, Lusting for the ecstasy of fright, Open to the charm of horrors new.

  Nick Gordon

  Halloween, Darkness, Lust

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• There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch.

  Robert Breault

  Inspirational, Children, Halloween

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• A house is never still in darkness to those who listen intently; there is a whispering in distant chambers, an unearthly hand presses the snib of the window, the latch rises. Ghosts were created when the first man awoke in the night.

  James M. Barrie

  Sarcastic, Halloween, Night

  James M. Barrie (2013). “The Little Minister (Illustrated Edition)”, p.201, Jazzybee Verlag

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• Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Stars, Halloween

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• Of calling shapes, and beck'ning shadows dire,
  And airy tongues that syllable men's names.

  John Milton

  Halloween, Men, Names

  John Milton (1824). “The Poetical Works of John Milton: With Notes of Various Authors, Principally from the Editions of Thomas Newton, Charles Dunster and Thomas Warton ; to which is Prefixed Newton's Life of Milton”, p.40

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• Nothing beats a haunted moonlit night on All Hallows Eve.... And on this fatal night, at this witching time, the starless sky laments black and unmoving. The somber hues of an ominous, dark forest are suddenly illuminated under the emerging face of the full moon.

  Elizabeth Kim

  Halloween, Dark, Moon

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• I don't know that there are real ghosts and goblins, But there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids.

  Robert Breault

  Halloween, Real, Kids

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• Halloween wraps fear in innocence, as though it were a lightly sour sweet. Let terror, then, be turned into a treat.

  Nick Gordon

  Sweet, Halloween, Innocence

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• As spirits roam the neighborhoods at night, Let loose upon the Earth till it be light.

  Nick Gordon

  Halloween, Night, Light

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• Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat."

  Rita Rudner

  Halloween, Doors, People

  "Jokes over easy: 1,386 delicious jokes from the best comedians" by Judy Brown, Barnes & Noble, (p. 112), 2006.

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• Nothing on Earth is so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.

  Steve Almond

  Beautiful, Halloween, Night

  Steve Almond (2004). “Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America”, p.32, Algonquin Books

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• I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

  Charles S. Swartz

  Fun, Halloween, Scary

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• 'Tis the night - the night Of the grave's delight.

  Arthur Cleveland Coxe

  Halloween, Night, Delight

  Arthur Cleveland Coxe (1842). “Halloween: A Romaunt”, p.13

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• On Halloween, witches come true; Wild ghosts escape from dreams. Each monster dances in the park.

  Nick Gordon

  Happy, Dream, Halloween

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• Tis the night - the night
  Of the grave's delight,
  And the warlocks are at their play;
  Ye think that without
  The wild winds shout,
  But no, it is they - it is they.

  Arthur Cleveland Coxe

  Halloween, Night, Thinking

  Arthur Cleveland Coxe (1842). “Halloween: A Romaunt”, p.13

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• A gypsy fire is on the hearth, Sign of the carnival of mirth; Through the dun fields and from the glade Flash merry folk in masquerade, For this is Hallowe'en!

  Jerry Smith

  Halloween, Heart, Fire

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• Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen, Voices whisper in the trees, "Tonight is Halloween!"

  Dexter Kozen

  Halloween, Years, Voice

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• Pixie, kobold, elf, and sprite,
  All are on their rounds tonight;
  In the wan moon's silver ray,
  Thrives their helter-skelter play.

  Joel Benton

  Halloween, Moon, Play

  Joel Benton, “Halloween”

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• You wouldn't believe On All Hallow Eve What lots of fun we can make, With apples to bob, And nuts on the hob, And a ring-and-thimble cake.

  Carolyn Wells

  Happy, Fun, Halloween

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• Never take candy from strangers.

  Rita Rudner

  Halloween, Candy Corn, Stranger

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• Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the "spirits" of things.

  Dee Snider

  Halloween, Scary, House

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• Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

  Kurt Vonnegut

  Funny, Sarcastic, Witty

  Kurt Vonnegut (2016). “If This Isn't Nice What Is? (Much) Expanded Second Edition: The Graduation Speeches and Other Words to Live By”, p.131, RosettaBooks

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• One need not be a chamber to be haunted.

  Emily Dickinson

  Inspirational, Life, Halloween

  Emily Dickinson (2013). “Poems by Emily Dickinson”, p.145, Library of Alexandria

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• After eating chocolate you feel godlike, as though you can conquer enemies, lead armies, entice lovers.

  Emily Luchetti

  Halloween, Food, Army

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• The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear.

  H. P. Lovecraft

  Fear, Halloween, Strong Emotions

  H.P. Lovecraft, Digital Papyrus (2014). “H.P. Lovecraft: The Ultimate Collection (160 Works Including Early Writings, Fiction, Collaborations, Poetry, Essays & Bonus Audiobook Links)”, eBookIt.com

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