Lap Quotes - Page 6

• A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.

  Milton Berle

  Nice, Men, Car

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• Space tourism is God's way of telling you you aren't spending enough on lap dances, baccarat and cocaine.

  Bill Maher

  Space, Tourism, Way

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• You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Kids, Redneck, Santa

  Jeff Foxworthy (2004). “There's No Place Like (A Mobile) Home For The Holidays: A Redneck Christmas”, p.14, Thomas Nelson Inc

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• Whenever I eat at a restaurant I never put the napkin in my lap. People say, 'Hannibal, why don't you put the napkin in your lap?' Because I believe in myself. I believe in my ability to not spill food in my pants 'cause I'm a goddamn adult. And I've mastered the art of getting food from my plate to my mouth without messing up my jeans. You need to believe in yourself, too and get your life together, that's for babies. Have some confidence in your eating abilities and hand/eye coordination.

  Hannibal Buress

  Confidence, Baby, Art

  47 Copy quote

• It doesn't bother me if my boyfriend gets a lap dance when I'm there. I'm secure with myself so whats the big deal?

  Stacy Keibler

  My Boyfriend, Bigs, Bother

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• You have a 45mm automatic pistol on your lap, and I have a 35mm camera on my lap, and my weapon is just as powerful as yours. (To Black Panther militant Eldridge Cleaver)

  Gordon Parks

  Photography, Powerful, Gun

  76 Copy quote

• They say that cats are the only animal that can sit in your lap and ignore you. To which I say: you've never been to the Spearmint Rhino.

  Dana Gould

  Cat, Animal, Rhinos

  35 Copy quote

• Husbands lie, Masha. I should know; I've eaten my share. That's lesson one. Lesson number two: among the topics about which a husband is most likely to lie are money, drink, black eyes, political affiliation, and women who squatted on his lap before and after your sweet self.

  Catherynne M. Valente

  Sweet, Husband, Lying

  Catherynne M. Valente (2011). “Deathless”, p.109, Macmillan

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• crawling up into daddy's lap when dad was still DADDY nodding my head against his chest soaking in the comfort of his heart LISTENING to the thump...thump somewhere beneath muscle and breastbone I remember his arms their sublime ENCIRCLING and the shawdow of his voice "I love you, little girl. Put away your bad dreams. Daddy's here" I put them away, Until Daddy became my nightmare that one that came HOME from work everyday and instead of picking me up, chased me far far away

  Ellen Hopkins

  Girl, Dream, Dad

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• Sometimes I had the feeling that all of us in his family were like pets to him. The dog you take for a walk, the cat you play with and that curls up in your lap, purring, to be stroked - you can be fond of them, you can even need them to a certain extent, and nonetheless the whole thing - buying pet food, cleaning up the cat box, and trips to the vet - is really too much. Your life is elsewhere.

  Bernhard Schlink

  Dog, Cat, Play

  Bernhard Schlink (2001). “The Reader”, p.30, Vintage

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• Well, in that hit you miss. She'll not be hit With Cupid's arrow. She hath Dian's wit, And, in strong proff of chastity well armed, From Love's weak childish bow she lives uncharmed. She will not stay the siege of loving terms, Nor bide th' encounter of assailing eyes, Nor ope her lap to saint-seducing gold. O, she is rich in beauty; only poor That, when she dies, with dies her store. Act 1,Scene 1, lines 180-197

  William Shakespeare

  Strong, Eye, Arrows

  William Shakespeare (2000). “Romeo and Juliet”, Oxford University Press on Demand

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• Golden retrievers are not bred to be guard dogs, and considering the size of their hearts and their irrepressible joy in life, they are less likely to bite than to bark, less likely to bark than to lick a hand in greeting. In spite of their size, they think they are lap dogs, and in spite of being dogs, they think they are also human, and nearly every human they meet is judged to have the potential to be a boon companion who might, at many moment, cry, "Let's go!" and lead them on a great adventure.

  Dean Koontz

  Dog, Heart, Adventure

  Dean Koontz (2007). “The Darkest Evening of the Year: A Novel”, p.69, Bantam

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• The rose fell into his lap, and he looked up, startled. Mimi grinned. "Hey handsom" Mimi sent. "What's up?" Jack replied, without speaking. "Just thinking of you." Jack's smile deepened, and he threw the rose back at her so that it landed in her lap. Mimi tucked it behind her ear and fluttered her eyelashes appreciatively.

  Melissa de la Cruz

  Thinking Of You, Eyelashes, Rose

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• Living in the lap of luxury isn't bad except that you never know when luxury is going to stand up.

  Orson Welles

  Life, Luxury, Knows

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• When I went into the last lap I was regretting a bit that it was over. I was enjoying again the first sector for the last time. Simply fantastic this circuit, and if you get 53 laps more, you appreciate it even more. It's made by God's hands.

  Sebastian Vettel

  Regret, Hands, Appreciate

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• You don't take your newborn baby, put that baby on your lap, and say, "Now listen, kid, you were born in sin, you're not worth anything, and you've got to pray for mercy." That's not going to raise a healthy adult. And that's what we do Sunday after Sunday after Sunday.

  John Shelby Spong

  Baby, Kids, Sunday

  Source: www.thinkpiecepublishing.com

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• I remember my first test in F1. After five laps, I came back to the pits and tried to play it cool - 'Oh yeah, I'm fine, I'm on top of this' - but I was completely lost.

  Sebastian Vettel

  Play, Pits, Tests

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Hopefully my fan base doesn't lock me into 'Twilight,' you lose yourself. You should do things for you, and I have been really lucky to have things that really rock me and really move me falling into my lap.

  Kristen Stewart

  Moving, Fall, Twilight

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• I'm very much in the trenches, and I don't live in the lap of luxury. I come from a working-class military family. We watch the news and read the paper and vote, so there's always something to be upset about. I always have a certain amount of angst in my back pocket.

  Pink

  Military, Class, Luxury

  4 Copy quote

• On the ice, if I slow down, I can coast behind somebody for a couple of laps. If I slow down on the run, it'll turn into a walk.

  Apolo Ohno

  Running, Couple, Ice

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• A mouse slid out from under his hat and scrambled down his sleeve, across his lap, and down to the floor. Nothing,' said Fenworth, 'should distract from a wizard's dignity.

  Donita K. Paul

  Wizards, Hats, Dignity

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• It doesn't really matter whether you grip the arms of the dentist's chair or let your hands lie in your lap. The drill drills on.

  C. S. Lewis

  Lying, Frustration, Hands

  C.S. Lewis (2012). “A Grief Observed”, p.17, Faber & Faber

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• She sat down on one of her grandmother's uncomfortable armchairs, and the cat sprang up into her lap and made itself comfortable. The light that came through the picture window was daylight, real golden late-afternoon daylight, not a white mist light. The sky was a robin's-egg blue, and Coraline could see trees and, beyond the trees, green hills, which faded on the horizon into purples and grays. The sky had never seemed so sky, the world had never seemed so world ... Nothing, she thought, had ever been so interesting.

  Neil Gaiman

  Real, Cat, Grandmother

  Neil Gaiman (2012). “Coraline”, p.162, A&C Black

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• Sekhmet crawled onto Ramses's lap and began to purr. 'The creature oozes like a furry slug,' said Ramses, eyeing it without favor.

  Barbara Mertz

  Slugs, Favors, Said

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• But will you not have a house to care for? Meals to cook? Children whining for this or that? Will you have time for the work?" "I'll make time," I promised. "The house will not always be so clean, the cooking may be a little hasty, and the whining children will sit on my lap and I'll sing to them while I work.

  Gloria Whelan

  Children, House, Cooking

  4 Copy quote