I always put clothes and family photos under the mattress, in case the house burns down.
Insomnia is only mind over mattress.
I've got an air mattress for a bed...really living the high life.
I miss my mattress when I am gone; It's one thing I've made an impression on.
Mattresses! Beautiful! Let's go buy a couple of mattresses. Give 'em to people for their birthday.
Those who have never suffered the iniquities of exile cannot possibly understand the significance, the gravitas, of a mattress.
Lying on a feather mattress or quilt will not bring you renown.
Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
What do men want? Men want a mattress that cooks.
Bless all useful objects,
the spoons made of bone,
the mattress I cook my dreams upon,
the typewriter that is my church
with an altar of keys always waiting.
Hatred, like straw, makes for a lumpy mattress.
I don't need anything to live, to be honest. Give me a mattress or a futon on the floor and I'll be the happiest camper.
America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.
One time Robert Plant was set to check into the same room after I checked out, so I removed every light bulb and ordered up a bunch of stinky cheese and put it under the mattress.
Two conditions that warrant someone's unconditional devotion: 1. Save their life 2. Help them move a pillow top mattress
He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
The world is an oyster but you don't crack it open on a mattress
The only interesting thing that can happen in a Swiss bedroom is suffocation by feather mattress.
I must be like the princess who felt the pea through seven mattresses; each book is a pea.
Self-pity in its early stage is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
Thanks for the reminder that i have to hit the gym today. I have'nt worked out in days. Unless one counted mattress gymnastics!!!
Well, I'd had the Fat Mattress earlier as a writing outlet for songs and that.
New York is a place where the rich walk, the poor drive Cadillacs, and beggars die of malnutrition with thousands of dollars hidden in their mattresses.
It is Veterans Day, when we honor everyone who served in all of the campaigns. We honor them with dignity and respect, and of course mattress sales and tire discounts.
Sometimes the autobiographical link in each story is very literal, like I did work at The Texas School for the Blind, and I did once lose a mattress out of the back of a friend's truck.
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