President Obama Quotes - Page 18

• This morning President Obama met with Britain's Prince William in the Oval Office. It was a meeting between a symbolic ruler with no real power and the future king of England.

  Conan O'Brien

  Morning, Kings, Real

  4 Copy quote

• Tomorrow night President Obama will announce his new immigration plan. Obama's favorite part of his new immigration plan is that he gets to emigrate to another country. He's tired of all this.

  Conan O'Brien

  Country, Tired, Night

  4 Copy quote

• President Obama has pledged $3 billion to aid poor nations. All of that $3 billion is going to the United States.

  Conan O'Brien

  President, United States, Poor Nations

  4 Copy quote

• The Secret Service said there have been 40 fence-jumping incidents at the White House in the past five years. Half of them were intruders trying to get in. The other half was President Obama trying to get out.

  Conan O'Brien

  Past, White, Jumping

  4 Copy quote

• People in China criticized President Obama for chewing gum while entering the economic summit in Beijing. They're saying he looked like a rapper. Then again, to be fair, in China I look like a rapper.

  Conan O'Brien

  Rapper, People, President

  4 Copy quote

• President Obama and Vladimir Putin are both in China attending the same economic summit. Obama saw Putin and said, 'After those midterms, it's nice to finally see a friendly face.'

  Conan O'Brien

  Nice, Friendly, President

  4 Copy quote

• For the first time ever, a black Republican woman has been elected to Congress. President Obama told her, 'You are all set. This country never turns against a black anything.'

  Conan O'Brien

  Country, Black, President

  4 Copy quote

• Kim Kardashian tweeted that she is supporting President Obama in the midterm elections. I think it worked because all of the polls are predicting that after tonight Barack Obama will still be president of the United States.

  Conan O'Brien

  Thinking, President, United States

  4 Copy quote

• Yesterday was the New York City Marathon. The marathon was won in record time by a Democrat candidate running away from President Obama.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, New York, Cities

  4 Copy quote

• President Obama and his wife are going to Kenya. Donald Trump said, 'While you're there, pick up your birth certificate.'

  David Letterman

  Wife, President, Kenya

  5 Copy quote

• It was announced that President Obama and his wife, when they're finished in Washington, are moving to New York City. The guy just can't get enough gridlock.

  David Letterman

  New York, Moving, Cities

  12 Copy quote

• President Obama's trying to work out a nuclear deal with Iran, and the Republicans are steamed. They got together and sent Iran a letter about the nuclear deal. They said if this doesn't work, by God, they're going to send Seth Rogen and James Franco.

  David Letterman

  Iran, Work Out, Trying

  4 Copy quote

• One of the dogs in the competition, a Portuguese Water Dog, is related to President Obama's dog, Bo. But they only see each other at funerals and weddings.

  David Letterman

  Dog, Water, Funeral

  4 Copy quote

• President Obama and his family are spending the holidays in Hawaii, and while they're gone, they got a fence jumper to house sit. Tomorrow, he will be in Hawaii playing golf with Raul Castro and the Pope.

  David Letterman

  Holiday, Golf, House

  7 Copy quote

• You probably heard about the big prisoner swap with Cuba. A man who has been incarcerated in Havana for five years is back home in the United States. And we sent them some prisoners. The deal still has to be approved by President Obama and Bud Selig.

  David Letterman

  Home, Men, Years

  12 Copy quote

• Once you're president, you can't go anywhere without causing trouble. President Obama shows up in China, he's chewing gum, they go crazy. A big stink because the president's chewing gum. And you think, the Chinese are so easygoing about human rights. What's the problem?

  David Letterman

  Crazy, Thinking, Rights

  4 Copy quote

• President Obama is in China. Also in China is evil Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. They're both in China at the same time. It's like running into your ex-girlfriend on vacation.

  David Letterman

  Running, Girlfriend, Vacation

  5 Copy quote

• President Obama is in China. Today he visited the kids who make our cellphones.

  David Letterman

  Kids, President, Today

  4 Copy quote

• What a day. It's 53 and gloomy - like President Obama.

  David Letterman

  President, Gloomy

  4 Copy quote

• President Obama has two years left as president. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets to appoint two new Kardashian husbands.

  David Letterman

  Husband, Years, Two

  4 Copy quote

• President Obama broke a world record after he reached a million followers on Twitter in just five hours. The only guys not following Obama? His Secret Service agents. They lost track months ago.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Track, Guy, Secret

  4 Copy quote

• President Obama finally has his own personal Twitter account. Even John McCain said, 'Welcome to the Internet, grandpa.'

  Jimmy Fallon

  Grandpa, President, Welcome

  4 Copy quote

• Even the White House is weighing in on the deflate-gate scandal. Yesterday they encouraged Tom Brady to 'be mindful of the way he serves as a role model.' And then President Obama stuffed out his cigarette and went golfing at noon on a weekday.

  Jimmy Fallon

  White, Yesterday, Role Models

  8 Copy quote

• Senate Democrats blocked President Obama's trade bill yesterday because they're worried it could hurt jobs. It's not an issue for Republicans, since they've all found work as presidential candidates.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Hurt, Jobs, Yesterday

  4 Copy quote

• In celebration of Mother's Day yesterday, President Obama called three moms who had written him letters. Then kids who made their mom a macaroni necklace said, 'Thanks, Obama.'

  Jimmy Fallon

  Mom, Mother, Kids

  5 Copy quote