Yakov Smirnoff Quotes

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• I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Happiness, Laughter, Believe

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• In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Country, Fun, Russia

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• In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Brother, Law, America

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• In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Funny, Two, Kgb

  "Laugh Off: The Comedy Showdown Between Real Life And The Pros". Book by Bob Fenster, 2005.

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• Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Funny, Happiness, Laughter

  FaceBook post by Yakov Smirnoff from Apr 03, 2014

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• In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Funny, Party, America

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• Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Funny, Humorous, Russia

  Yakov Smirnoff (1987). “America on six rubles a day”, Vintage

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• I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Girl, Dream, Comedy

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• In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Russia, America, President

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• Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Men, World, Men And Women

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• I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Men, House, Want

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• I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Happiness, Laughter, Believe

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• The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Funny, Lasts, Paper

  FaceBook post by Yakov Smirnoff from Apr 07, 2014

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• The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Oklahoma, Texas, Oil

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• Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Funny, Gay, Men

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• In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Jobs, America, Russia

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• I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Happiness, Laughter, Believe

  FaceBook post by Yakov Smirnoff from Oct 29, 2014

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• Russian men have a saying: "Women are like buses..." That's it.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Men, Bus

  Yakov Smirnoff (1987). “America on six rubles a day”, Vintage

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• Never having alone time is real tough on people.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Real, People, Tough

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• In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Heart, Laughing, Balance

  FaceBook post by Yakov Smirnoff from Apr 10, 2014

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• We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Education, Children, Thinking

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• If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Love, Happiness, Laughter

  FaceBook post by Yakov Smirnoff from Mar 27, 2014

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• In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Russia, America, Car

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• Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  Mind, Comedian, Hitting

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• My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.

  Yakov Smirnoff

  New York, Freedom, Father

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