The best way to get along is never to forgive an enemy or forget a friend.
Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.
Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.
Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.
We must not indulge in unfavorable views of mankind, since by doing it we make bad men believe they are no worse than others, and we teach the good that they are good in vain.
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
Today's gossip is tomorrow's headline.
It's a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do.
She's been on more laps than a napkin.
I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret.
The same thing happened today that happened yesterday, only to different people.
Broadway is a main artery of New York life - the hardened artery.
The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled - it's just the opposite!
Nothing recedes like success.
Money sometimes makes fools of important persons, but it may also make important persons of fools.
I never lost a friend I wanted to keep.
The only ones who like Milton Berle are his mother - and the public.
A certain columnist has been banned from all Shubert openings. Now he can wait three days and go to their closings.
He (Alexander Woollcott) always praises the first production of each season, being reluctant to stone the first cast.
Hell hath no fury like a woman cheated out of a million dollars.
The way to become famous fast is to throw a brick at someone who is famous.
Here lies Walter Winchell in the dirt he loved so well.
America - love it or leave it.
Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America from border to border and coast to coast and all the ships at sea. Let's go to press.
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