The best way to get along is never to forgive an enemy or forget a friend.
Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.
Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.
We must not indulge in unfavorable views of mankind, since by doing it we make bad men believe they are no worse than others, and we teach the good that they are good in vain.
The same thing happened today that happened yesterday, only to different people.
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
Today's gossip is tomorrow's headline.
She's been on more laps than a napkin.
Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.
The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled - it's just the opposite!
Money sometimes makes fools of important persons, but it may also make important persons of fools.
It's a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do.
The only ones who like Milton Berle are his mother - and the public.
Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America from border to border and coast to coast and all the ships at sea. Let's go to press.
I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret.
Broadway is a main artery of New York life - the hardened artery.
Nothing recedes like success.
Here lies Walter Winchell in the dirt he loved so well.
America - love it or leave it.
The Chicago mobs... They practiced their own perverted form of "survival of the fittest." Where the strong clawed their way to the top of a criminal empire. And the weak died in a hail of machine gun bullets.
A pessimist is one who builds dungeons in the air.
Hell hath no fury like a woman cheated out of a million dollars.
He (Alexander Woollcott) always praises the first production of each season, being reluctant to stone the first cast.
A certain columnist has been banned from all Shubert openings. Now he can wait three days and go to their closings.
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