... no matter how nice you are to some people, they'll turn their back on you the second they get the chance.
Because it's our choices that makes us who we are...
I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.
You can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you.
I don't know what a guy needs to do to impress a girl these days.
See, when you're a little kid, nobody ever warns you that you've got an expiration date. One day you're hot stuff and the next day you're a dirt sandwich.
You and your group of nerds fall into a pit and it's full of dynamite and you blow up. The End.
I'm probably something like 95% chicken nugget
Well, the problem is, it's not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I'm pretty much one of the best people I know.
Monkeys can't talk, stupid!
So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear.
The only reason I get out of bed at all on weekends is because eventually I can't stand the taste of my own breath any more.
The best person I know is Myself.
I don't know if this makes me a bad person or whatever, but it's hard for me to get interested in other people's vacations.
So if you want to find somebody to blame for the way i am, I guess you'd have to start with the public education system.
Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!
I didn't really know what to expect from detention but when I waked into the room, the first thought I had was, I don't belong in here with these future criminals.
But the thing I’m finding out is some people don’t really appreciate it when you’r trying to be helpful.
fish and visitors stink in 3 days.
Greg starts a middle school and asks: Why is "bullies" such a big PROBLEM? And says people need to shave twice a day.
Holly is the fourth-prettiest girl in the class, but the top 3 all have boyfriends. So a lot of guys like me are doing everything they can to get in good with her.
hot pink looks cute on only janet which is MEEEEEEE!!!
Dear Aunt Loretta, Thank you so much for the awesome pants! How did you know I wanted that for Christmas? I love the way the pants look on my legs! All my friends will be so jealous that I have my very own pants. Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever! Sincerely, Greg
I think Diary of a Wimpy kidis sooooo good!!!!!!!
I think humor is key [to a successful middle-grade novel]. Kids like to read for entertainment, and the best way to entertain kids is to make them laugh.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends